broken pieces | Regulus Black

the apology brownies #04

Celeste

Never, and I mean never show weakness to anyone. That’s what has been installed into me since birth. Our family wouldn’t have survived otherwise. 

So how could I have been so dumb to open the door while crying? What was I thinking! Absolutely nothing apparently.

I mean he could have at least been ugly. That would have saved me a little bit of the embarrassment… of shutting the door in his face. Ms. Astor is turning in her crave as we speak. 

‘A lady must not act like that!’ God I can even hear her creaking voice. Rest in agony you old hag.

It’s bad enough to get off on the wrong foot with your neighbour, especially by playing loud music of all things. But not even properly hearing him out, when he came to notify me of it? I would absolutely hate it if someone did that to me.

Although he was a little bit rude, was he not? So maybe I was justified? What am I even saying, of course not!

It was me that was playing loud music, way past midnight. Although I didn’t do it intentionally, just kind of drifted deep into my subconsciousness in that dub. Not noticing the hours going by while being underwater.

That goddamn nightmare woke me up in tears. It happened years ago, why can’t I get over it already? Not like crying is going to solve anything. 

My mother would be so disappointed, her legacy crying, all because of a stupid nightmare. No matter how many times my father tells me that I could never cause her anything but pride and joy, it just doesn’t seem to register in my mind.

Should I go and apologise? That’s probably a good idea. Maybe I could make some brownies as a peace offering. That should lighten the mood.

But not right now. Tomorrow, or should I say today. Since it’s two o’clock in the morning. He’s probably exhausted and sleeping already. Don’t want to give him any more reasons to hate me.

I should also catch up on some sleep. I’ll make the pastries later, probably leave a note with them. Don’t think I could face him right now. Someday, but definitely not today. 

Or should I go in person?

••••••••••••

It’s the right thing to do. It is. It is. It is.

Is it though?

I mean I could still go back to my own apartment and just leave the brownies here? Sounds like a plan…. Right?

No, no, no. Get yourself together Celeste! You have to apologise, it’s the right thing to do. You were rude and now you have to deal with the consequences.

‘Knock, knock bitch. Guess who’s here?’

Is what I wanted to say, but didn’t. It really is hilarious. Or is it not? Anyway I wouldn’t be foolish enough to do that. Not when the man behind this awfully plain and boring brown door is probably still mad at me.

Struggling to balance the brownies in one hand, I knocked a few times and waited. Waited some more. And more. And even more.

Then I knocked again, this time a little louder, just to make sure he could hear me. Waited for an awfully long time. Okay… who am I kidding, it was probably like ten seconds? Fifteen tops.

I kicked the door with my foot. A little bit too hard, if the aching in my leg is anything to go off of. 

‘Are you alright, miss?’

Crap, it’s him. He’s not home, instead he is standing behind me, a little lower, courtesy of the staircase. God, this is so embarrassing. Just turn around and smile, pray a little that he didn’t just witness the whole ordeal.

‘Is this how you normally spend your Sundays, assaulting other people’s doors?’

Why is he so cheery, while saying that? Does this humour him? If I found someone just randomly kicking my door, they would be in an ambulance by now. 

Quickly turning around to face him isn’t apparently the best plan, because I end up losing my balance and stumbling around a little bit. What is wrong with me today?

‘Sorry about that, I thought you were home and didn’t hear me knocking.’

‘Clearly…’

At least he’s not yelling at me? That’s a positive. Mustering up the warmest voice I possibly could, I started speaking again.

‘I wanted to bring over some apology brownies, for last night. I am so sorry about the noise. You take a bath at 8 o’clock in the evening and don’t even notice time going by. Crazy, right?’

I shove the pastries towards him.

‘I shouldn’t have shut the door in your face, that was my mistake.’

Please say something, don’t just stand there, all brooding and handsome. While I’m about to go dig myself a grave, so I can commit suicide from the embarrassment.

‘Apology accepted, no need to feel bad. We all have some downdays.’

‘That’s great! Enjoy the brownies and I’ll see you around. Yeah?’

That being said, I walk a little faster than normal back to my apartment, open the door and then close it as fast as humanly possible.