All I Want For Christmas (Spideypool Oneshot)

All I Want For Christmas

AN:
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I

The first year, Spider-Man asked bluntly.

It was the last week of November and months into their tentative partnership. Peter wanted to get some sort of token of goodwill; something that could represent the friendship they would forge together in the future after the past year - or so - of disdain and distrust.

So the first year, Spider-Man asked bluntly, and he did it while they were eating at one of Wade's favorite little health and safety hazards.

"Hey. What do you want for Christmas?"

Wade choked on his bite, and blinked up owlishly at Peter with that strangely expressive mask.

Peter squinted back, trying not to sigh. He probably shouldn't have phrased it like that. "Like, a small gift. Some chocolate, a Golden Girls poster, I dunno, stuff for a hobby - No, I'm not buying you anything that could grievously hurt and/or kill someone," he added, hopefully before Wade got any stupid ideas. "Just don't make it super spendy, okay? I'm a starving college kid; I'm not exactly made of money."

Ever so slowly, a smile crept onto Wade's face and Peter was feeling more and more like he'd made a mistake. "Oh? Baby boy!" Wade squealed. Yup, a mistake. "Why would you be getting something for little ol' me?"

It wasn't what Peter was expecting to come from Wade's mouth, but that's what he got anyway.

"Because... We're friends?" Peter replied, because wasn't that obvious? "Friends get each other gifts for Christmas - or I'll be getting something for you, at least. I know you're not taking jobs anymore, don't feel pressured to get something for me..."

Wade leaned in with a little alarmed sound, holding a finger up to Peter's lips. "Nope! Nuh-huh! Nada! Don't say that, I basically just got the green light to spoil you this year, you're not taking that away."

Peter's lips fell open for a retort but Wade stuffed a few tater tots in his mouth.

Ignoring Peter's outraged noise, Wade kept speaking. "I legit have so much money, that's not an issue. I just meant the friends thing. I figured you thought of me - at most - as an annoying little apprentice you were morally obligated to watch."

"You are - er - were?" Peter responded hesitantly, only once he'd finished chewing his mouthful of tots. "I mean, we've been patrolling together for months now. We've been-" Peter gestured around the restaurant "- eating together for at least the past two weeks. I'd like to think that you're more than just an acquaintance at this point. So, yeah. Friends."

Wade grinned one of those big, dopey grins of his and Peter had to bite back one of his own.

It took a few weeks before Peter realized Wade never gave him an answer. And another week after that before Peter admitted he didn't know what a certifiably insane, loaded mercenary-turned-hero would even want, and shamefully bought one of those pre-made gift baskets from Walmart.

Which only made him feel guiltier when Wade presented him with a huge pile of shittily wrapped presents.

II

The second year Peter tried again and he attempted, at first, to be civil about it. In the beginning Wade said he didn't need any gifts. Peter simply didn't give a shit. It was Christmas, he was going to get his friend a gift, and a good one at that! After a little bit of wheedling, Wade gave in and told Peter he'd think about it.

Well, after two weeks with no answer, Peter took to asking directly.

"It must have slipped my mind," Wade replied as he zip-tied a baddie to the bike rack. And, anticipating the impending glare Spider-Man was sure to give, Wade quickly continued. "It's not that I don't want you to get me anything," Peter doubted that, "I just don't usually have people who want to get me Christmas gifts," and now Peter felt bad, "so any time I'm out and about I just buy anything I want. I have the money for it, so why not?"