Trust

Chapter 9

(Before the random talk)(edited)

The social worker lady gave me three options for a place to live. I didn't really listen until I heard the word pool. So I picked that one.

It took FOREVER to get there. I couldn't believe people live that far away from town. Once we arrived, I saw my dream house. Two story house, huge yard, and a pool!

We went inside and the social worker introduced me to them saying they were nice people and they would take good care of me.

I was very shy and didn't talk much. They told me to call them Mr. And Mrs. Chambers. I did for about two weeks. I started warming up to them. They became my nanny and papa.

Did I mention they already had another foster child? It was a baby! I love babies. His name is Tyler and he was almost three months old.

He's a cute little thing. They let me hold him. I knew I would love him forever and ever.

He was adopted by them a year later. In eighth grade they adopted me. I changed my name to Caytee Elizabeth Chambers because I thought I wanted a new start. It was sometime in September.

A couple months later it was time for Christmas. Mama and daddy went to town to get more presents. They asked me and my nephews Paxton and Ryan to wrap the presents.

We were content wrapping the presents when my oldest nephew Paxton asks me to come with him.

We walked outside and went to the shed to get more wrapping paper. He says, "You know Kaitlin, I've been wanting to do something for a while." I'm just standing there like, okay?

He says he wants to kiss me and I let him.. He kept trying to come onto me, but I wasn't going to let that happen. I pushed him away and ran upstairs to get my phone and tell my best friend. She didn't believe me at first.

My mom saw the message I sent Julie(my best friend) she said, "Why would you lie about those types of things?" I didn't say anything. I just hung my head and went up to my room.

That's when I started staying in my room all the time. I felt like I couldn't trust anyone. Everyone was out to get me and they wanted to hurt me. (I still do it to this day and my parents don't even understand)

In my room I can be the real me. I don't have to hide secrets or pretend to be happy. I can cry if I want to. I can hit things if I want to. It's my escape.

I always tell myself that I'm not pretty. I'm not beautiful. I'm worthless and so on. My parents even make me feel that way. My mom always calls me fat and she thinks it will help me realize that I am.

I know that I'm fat. I've tried so hard to lose it. I've tried everything. Eating healthy and exercising, starving myself, taking weight loss pills, eating and throwing up. Nothing works.

There are some people that are incapable of losing weight without a doctor's help and I think I'm one of those.

I'm currently 225 and I hate it. An eighteen year old girl is not suppose to weigh that much, but back to the past.

It wasn't until ninth grade where I started to get really fat. My friends say I'm not, but I know I am. I think I was 150 or something like that. Man, I wish I still weighed that little.

I don't like to be called fat, but I also don't like it when people sugarcoat their words towards me. I'm a big girl. I can handle what other people say. Maybe..

Sorry that it's been a while since I've updated. I just haven't felt like it. Maybe I'll update again soon. Hope you enjoy this chapter. Maybe.