Just between us | sunghoon

Encounter

I hurried backstage

 The staff trailing behind, offering water and tissues in a bid to tend to me. "I have to go! I have to go!" I repeated urgently, an urgency gripping me as though time were slipping away. Disregarding their voices, one thought pounded in my head—I had to confirm if it was truly him.

Yanking my hair down, I let it cascade over my shoulders, releasing the pressure. There was no time to change; I just threw my black hoodie over my stage outfit and sprinted toward the exit door trying to make it up the stage chairs. My eyes darted searching for him. scanning every face among the audience leaving, the stage was starting to empty up, everyone crowding the doors trying to leave and then I started to panic. The fear of losing him once more seeping in, a chance slipping away after years of longing.

 As I finally was able to get in, I felt disappointment and despair wash over my body. But then there he sat,  in the same chair he was in earlier, everyone had left but he remained there and so I rushed down the stairs towards him, I don't know what I was expecting, I don't know what I would say, what will he say, why is he here now after all this time, why now when I lost hope, why now when I'm supposed to be so happy and celebrating my first stage and then I finally stood in front of him, breathless, angry, confused, heartbroken and full of yearning. 

Standing before him, a flood of emotions crashed within me. "Sunghoon," I muttered, my voice faltering.

"Hi, y/n," he said, a smile on his lips, his voice unfamiliar.

"You're really shining today, more than ever," he said, a tinge of bitterness in his smile.

"Why are you here?" I demanded, my voice edged with harshness. "Why now, after all these years, when I've lost hope? Why now, when I'm supposed to be celebrating my first stage?"

"I was scared, y/n," he confessed. "Scared of what?" I retorted venomously. "Give me answers, Sunghoon. Tell me why you left, after we built our dreams together after we made all these promises, and after you made me feel like life was this amazing fairytale and then stole it and disappeared like it was nothing, like I was nothing! "

"I can't tell you now," he sighed heavily. "When the time is right, you'll know everything. But I can't give you those answers, not today."

I laughed bitterly, my voice gaining strength. "well fair enough then. You should've stayed gone. I was doing well until an hour ago. Now it feels like day one, grieving your loss again, crying and wondering where you are.

"I missed you, y/n," he interjected, rising to approach me.

"NO, don't give me this!" I snapped, pushing his hands away as he moved closer. "Stay away from me. Remain gone, like you chose to be for years. I mean it. I don't ever want to see you again. I was okay with the idea of you being gone. Please, never show up in front of me again."

With that, I retreated, the weight in my mind, heart, and steps making every breath a struggle. Everything felt so overwhelming, and I had to fight to remain strong amidst the crushing weight of it all.