𝒕𝒓𝒖𝒆 𝒃𝒍𝒖𝒆- 𝒗𝒊𝒏𝒏𝒊𝒆 𝒉𝒂𝒄𝒌𝒆𝒓

𝟎𝟏𝟐

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-ˋˏ 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟏𝟐: 𝐰𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐢𝐦 𝐟𝐚𝐝𝐞 𝐚𝐰𝐚𝐲ˎˊ -
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"𝐢 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐦𝐞𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐩𝐮𝐭 𝐡𝐢𝐦 𝐝𝐨𝐰𝐧"

i have been rotting in my bed all week, my dad had called my school to let them know i won't be attending for awhile, i got sent a pile of school work to do at home that's sitting on my desk completely untouched

it's bad again, bad as in my dad has to fed me because if he didn't i wouldn't eat for anything, bad as in i haven't showered in a week, bad as in im in the same clothes from that night, bad as in i cannot stop thinking about him

"hey val" my dad walks into my dark room, the light of the hallway blinding me "mm" i groan "school called, they want you back by this Tuesday" he sighs, my heart drops

i didn't want to face him, i didn't want to look stupid i didn't wanna go and as much as i wanted to scream and yell 'no no no' to my poor father all i said was "okay"

the door shuts and i'm met with darkness again a tear runs down my face and i burry my face into my pillow that had already been molded by my head

am i really doing this to myself? over a boy i've known for not so long? did i really fall in love? did i really mean those words i said to him?

fuck i need more sleep

-

"val get the fuck up" my sister blair says as she sits on the edge of my messy bed, i sigh and sit up, it felt unreal i cracked my back and stretched my then limp body and just sat there "cmon lets go get you cleaned up"she says holding my hand

whenever i have these sort of episodes, blair knows what to do she's like my other mother, i love her to death, i live for her i do it all for my dearest sister

i sit in the bathtub and bring my knees up my chest
blair pours the warm water onto my bare skin
"i don't understand why you do this to yourself" she shakes her head, "please val don't lose yourself, i don't want to lose you either" she sniffles as she scrubs my shoulders

i look at her no emotion in my eyes and i simply nod
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if i'm being honest i did miss vinnie, and i will admit that to me he is the love of my life but what ticked me off was odessa's words, if she hadn't said those things to me i wouldn't have been as bad as i am right now

it was the morning of going back to school, was i nervous? maybe

i threw on a hoodie and sweats and kept my hair down
i wore concealer to hide my eyes bags and mascara to make me look more awake, blair was driving me to school because she was scared i was gonna go on manic mode and runaway from home if i walked to school

"if anyone starts to bother you just call me" she sighs, i felt like a little girl when she told me that i hated it
"k bye" i say as i stepped out of her car, i swing my book bag over my shoulder and stepped into the devils castle

i walked in and was met by the overwhelming scent of a doctor's office i scrunch my nose and made my way to my locker which was on the second floor, i walked towards the stair case and made my way up