Fate

12- Pre-Cautions

It's been a week since Reed came back home. Him and I have been, awkward you could say. After he came back he stopped kind of talking to everyone. He hasn't come out of his room in a couple days. He's just been sleeping, watching TV, drinking. I thought maybe what happened would have changed him and made him better, but I guess I was wrong. Maria and Kirt have talked about sending him to therapy but he refuses to go. Christmas Break has been boring. I've hung out with Khloe and that's really it. Tina finally chose a college.

I heard a knock on my door. Looking up Zach slowly walked in. Oh boy. This will be fun.

"Hey," he said awkwardly.

"What's up?" I asked setting down my phone. He slowly walked over and sat down next to me.

"I just wanted to apologize. For everything. I was a complete dick about the whole situation," he said looking at me.

"It's okay," I said giving a soft smile and shaking my head.

"It's not, really. I've always been in competition with Reed. I've always felt like I need to be better than him, at everything, including girls I guess. I was worried he'd take you away from me, and I cared to much about yo-," Zach said starting to ramble.

"Zach it's okay, really. I understand," I said setting my hands on top of his. Our eyes locked as his expression relaxed.

"I think i'm in love with you Cassie," He said sighing. What. I inhaled sharply and swallowed hard.

"Zach," I whispered.

"I know, you don't have to say it back, I know you feel it, I know you do. You're the perfect girl for me, and I think i'm the perfect guy for you. Right?" He asked. What the fuck do I say to this? Maybe he was right? Was he? I can't hurt him again. I smiled and nodded slowly. No. Cassandra James what are you thinking? I sighed. I kissed his cheek softly. Kind of a goodbye kiss? Pulling back I gave him a soft smile. Looking up through the door frame I saw Reed standing right outside his door staring at me. He had a jealous and angry look in his eyes. I hadn't seen him out of his room at all. Of course he sees this. He clenched his jaw and turned around back into his room. Slamming the door I sighed. Zach looked at me confused.

"What was that?" He asked. I shrugged. Smiling he pulled me back in.

"So we're all good?" he asked hugging me.

"We're good," I whispered hesitantly. No. Nothing was all good. Everything was a fucking mess.

It's been a little while since Zach and I got back together. Things are good. Kinda. Things are okay. I haven't gone a night without thinking about Reed. He hasn't spoken to me since he saw Zach and I that one night. He hardly comes out of his room. He goes to school comes home and hides.

"So you and Zach are good?" Khloe asked confused as she sat on my bed.

"Yeah, I mean yeah I guess so," I said pacing back and forth.

"But what about you and Reed. The necklace? The hospital? The inn? I mean just everything?" Khloe asked. I paused and looked at her. I shrugged and shook my head.

"Khloe i'm so confused," I said collapsing into her lap. She pet my head gently and sighed.

"I mean Zach is the perfect guy for me. He's right. He's kind, he'll treat me well, he's sweet, he's cute, he's got everything together," I said staring at the wall.

"Sure he's all those things. You know what you didn't say though?" She replied.

"What?" I mumbled.

"He'll make you happy," she said softly. She's right. He won't. Maybe i'll occasionally be happy, but he'll never make me feel happy. Feel like i'm me. I'm not myself with him.

"Reed though. I mean you guys have a tied connection to each other. You understand each other on another level. I've never seen him care for a girl the way he cares about you. Not any of his ex girlfriends. You keep saying you need to find a way to fix him. Well, Cassie I think you are the way," Khloe said. I sat up and looked at her. Tears started swelling up in my eyes. She's right.

"It's him Cassie," she whispered. I broke down and started crying. Pulling me in she held me tightly.

"I love you, and I know that whatever choice you make will be the right one," she said. I nodded. It will be. I have to fix this.

Walking into Zach's room my hands trembled.

"Hey!" He said as his face lit. Shit. I walked over and sat down next to him. He leaned into kiss me as I gently pushed him back. His eyebrows furrowed.

"We need to talk," I said. He gave me a confused look.

"I love you so much Zach. I do. But i'm not in love with you. I can't keep lying to myself or to you about how I feel," I said. He sighed and held his head in his hands.

"Look i'm sorry, but it's the right choice, for both of us. You need to find someone who appreciates how amazing you are," I said reassuring him. He looked up me with teary eyes. My heart hurt for him. I felt terrible.

"Why do you keep doing this to me?" He asked.

"I keep lying to myself. I'm not doing that anymore," I said slowly standing up and walking out. I went into my room and laid down.

My eyes opened to the muttering of words in the distance. I slowly sat up and rubbed my face. I heard whimpers and soft yells from across the hall. Standing up I opened my door and listened confused. Heavy breathing and muffled cries came from Reed's room. I slowly walked in and shut the door behind me. I looked at Reed as he turned over frantically and had shaky breath. He looked terrified.

"Reed?" I whispered. No response. Walking over I climbed into the bed and knelt next to him.

"No, stop, please," he said scared. His breathing was rapid. I shook him quickly and whispered his name. He slowly opened his eyes and looked up at me.

"Breathe," I said relieved. He looked up at me panicked as he tried to catch his breath. Laying down I leaned over him. He tried to breathe but struggled. Placing my hand on his chest I felt his rapid heartbeat.

"Look at me," I said. He slowly looked up. He was terrified.

"It was just a nightmare okay?" I said leading my other hand to his face. Gently stroking his cheek he looked at me relieved. My hand on his chest slowly moved to his abs as we looked at each other intensely. His breathing slowed as he shut his eyes and sighed.

"You're okay, it's not real. I'm here, i'm here," I said brushing his hair back with my hand. He sighed in relief and wrapped his arms around my body laying into me. His skin was warm. He held onto me tightly. I could still feel his heart racing. Placing my head on his shoulder I wrapped my arms around his chest and sighed. This moment was perfect. This was all I wanted. It was right.