I held her in my arms as her wrists continued to bleed. As her body continued to shake. I kissed her head and looked down into her tired eyes.Her world had fallen, her hope had crumbled, she was pale and emotionless and it seemed as though her world had crashed beneath her scraped up feet.
She sat there staring. Staring at their legs as they gathered round and assessed the pale corpse. The room was gruesome, the glass was everywhere, the blood was scattered all over the floor and the gun just laid there.
All she could do was watch. watch as everything around her was destroyed. The fire was still burning and the house was about to collapse but she refused to move. She had to see it. She had to witness everything as it fell. She needed to analyse, to find out where it all went wrong.
She felt limp in my arms and black tears ran down her face and the fire was reflecting into her eyes and she looked so dead that I felt physically pained in my chest because I couldn't help her. It was over. She knew it and I dreaded the fact.
Our world was broken.
''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''
2 years earlier.
Alissa's point of viewIt was always a wonder to me how the world woke with such ease. It made me ponder on the thought of why it was so hard for me. I opened my eyes at the sound of blaring music and muffled voices outside my bedroom door. I sat up slowly, only to have my eyes sting from the burning sun that was peeking through my blinds.
I scanned my room, all that was in sight were tons and tons of boxes I hadn't unpacked yet. I lay in bed staring at the ceiling, looking for even the slightest bit of sanity to get me out of my bed. As a lay there I could hear was my mother's giggling and a man's voice outside the door. I shook my head in dismay wondering how on earth I was going to get through the day. Mom was no doubt drunk out of her mind and I could only expect to be cleaning the house while she's passed out on the bathroom floor once again. I heard a loud crash followed by my mother's obnoxiously loud drunken laugh and I shot up from my bed , got dressed quickly, descended down the stairs and followed the sound of the voices.
I entered the living room and right there, in front of me was my mother in all her tattered glory hanging over some tall man while a broken picture frame sat beside her on the wooden floor.
The man looked more than sober-in fact I was curious as to why he was with my mother out of all people in the first place.
I turned off the music and walked over to the man."Who are you?" I asked him bluntly.
I sounded like a robot who only spoke in monotone. I was so used to asking this question; anybody could
tell and that alone made his eyebrows shoot up.He set my mother down on the couch before walking up to me to shake my hand. When he realized that I wasn't about to comply, he dropped his hand and scratched the back of his neck awkwardly making me tilt my eyes.
"I-uhh...found your mother at a bar a few hours ago and she was pissed out of her mind, she was starting fights and could barely walk straight. I-I couldn't just leave her there so I looked through her phone and found a contact that said Alissa and it had daughter in parenthesis so I clicked there and found your address and drove her here." He rambled.
I narrowed my eyes at him and folded my arms. "How'd you get in?" I asked. I already knew the answer-I just needed to confirm that my assumption was in fact correct."Your door was unlocked and wide open..." I was already nodding halfway through his sentence. I knew it. She left at god knows what time in the morning to go drink and forgot to lock the door. Who cares about our stuff or my safety right mom...
I took a look at my mother who sported a skimpy dress and was passed out on the couch, in a way I felt some sympathy for her but I knew her actions were getting out of hand.
I turned my gaze to the man. He was a tall dark haired man who looked to be in his late twenties. He was quite handsome and way too young for my mother.
"Thanks." I nodded at him."Yeah-uh you're welcome...d-do you need any h-help here or?" he stuttered obviously feeling uncomfortable under the circumstances.
"Nope. Thanks for bringing her home and all but next time..." I stopped and thought about the consequences of the next words I was about to utter."Yeah?" he edged obviously curious as to what I was about to say.I thought about it for a moment. Who cares? Not her. Not me.
"Leave her there." I told him before ushering him out of my house and closing the door. I then went to pick up whatever picture my mother had broken. I crouched to the floor and picked up the frame carefully examining it. My eyebrows creased and when I realised what this was, I saw red. That's when I lost it.
"Get up." I demanded turning to my mom. Her eyes opened slightly and she grunted. "I said get up!" I yelled out of pure anger making her jump up and wobble over a bit. She looked at me and her eyes were glazed over.
I knew just by looking at her that she was sober enough to know what I was about to say. "This" I gestured to the photo of my father "-is unacceptable. It's the last straw! What are you even doing? Huh? Look at this! Do you think that it's okay to have strangers pick you up from bars when you're so fucking pissed that you can't even see?! I am not going to babysit you anymore. If you want to be going out and wasting our money on cheap and shitty alcohol then do it, but the next time someone has to bring you to this house because you are this wasted, I will not hesitate to call the cops. Do you hear me?!"
I screamed in fury. Words could not describe one but how completely and utterly fed up I was with this women.She gave me no response, aside from the tears pouring down her face. I stood up, chucked the photograph onto the floor and left with the slam of a door after grabbing my money, phone and earphones.
''''''''''''''''''
I was halfway down the street with my hoodie zipped up and earphones in. I was jamming to All Time Low as I stared up at the cloudy sky.
It was chilly out and I had school the next day. My mother and I had just moved here recently because she lost her job and our house. We had moved to this area because this was the only school who would offer me a bursary.
I continued my journey to my secret hide-out. It was an abandoned house I'd found just a few days ago when we moved here. The place was full of graffiti and had random old furniture around. I arrived at my destination and jumped the fence.
I climbed in through the window and went to my 'room' that I had claimed. It had a tonne of art supplies and drawing equipment. It was my sanctuary.I drew and painted for hours and hours on end. Sometimes people would show up and keep my company , sometimes they'd look for a fight and other times I was completely alone . It seemed to be the go to place for any misfit in this town.
I knew it would be bad. I knew she lied. 'promise you that the next move will be different. I'm gonna sober up and we're gonna be okay.'
I knew better than to believe anything that came out of her mouth.
It would always be like this.
It would never change.
YOU ARE READING
Stained
RandomAlissa Jackson the clinically depressed anxiety filled psychotic mess finds herself in a state of utter despair when one thing after another comes along to ruin her life. The only way out? Rebel. The description is pretty vague because I don't exac...