Keep Me In Your Heart

Drunk Texts

Eden

Zane and I have been broken up for six months now.

On the off chance I see Zac or Joey they sometimes mention him in passing. He's not doing fantastic from what I gather.

August moved out I guess, got his own place with his new boyfriend.

I wound up in a relationship about four months later, it's not Zane, but it's not awful either. But...it's still no Zane.

He also doesn't know the full extent of the situation with my eyes...and I plan to keep it like that for now.

"Eden?" I looked up from my cup of tea and tilted my head.

"Huh? Sorry, I was zoned out, what's up, Noah?" I asked, flashing a little smile.

Noah is my boyfriend.

"I was asking if you wanted something while I was out. I'm going to go to a company dinner, I'll bring you back something,"

I shook my head. "No, thanks though babe,"

He smiled and kissed my temple. "Text me if you need anything?"

I nodded. "Will do," I answered.

I won't. If I need something I'll figure it out.

I always do anymore. I won't be a burden.

It was a long night after Noah left.

He texted me and said his father had gotten ahold of him and needed him for the night so he wouldn't be able to stay over like he planned.

It also ended up being one of the few nights where Zane would drunk text me...

Told me he loved me. That he misses me. That he knows he's going to die alone but he hopes I'm happy.

I didn't respond.

I don't even know how to.

It hurts to think of myself as the reason he's getting drunk to bury his emotions.

I can't bring myself to block him though. It feels too final. I don't know that we'll ever be together again, but I don't want that finality of never either.

Now I'm sitting here at three in the morning, staring at my phone.

Zane texted again. The words were even more illegible than before. All I could make out was something about missing me more the later it got.

I don't know what possessed me to do it but I pressed the call button.

I don't know what to say though if he answers.

Do I tell him to stop texting? That I miss him? That I still think about him? That I regret not saying yes?

"Hello?" Zane slurred into the phone.

I flinched at the sound of glass breaking and a quiet "fuck" from him.

"Hey," I spoke awkwardly.

"Eden?"

"Yeah, it's me..."

"What...you want?" He asked, voice slurred but seemingly more alert.

"Just uh...dunno," I shrugged.

"Oh,"

There was a long silence between us.

"Miss you," Zane mumbled.

"I know..."

Another silence.

I ended the call abruptly, starting to feel...something that I didn't like. Guilt, maybe?