Loki x transman original character (very much work in progress)

Chapter Two: You're more than just a pretty dress.

*(Author’s note: This chapter will contain internalised transphobia and sensory overload so please don’t read if that will affect you.)*

Kristian...

The brave library boy...

For fuck’s sake!

Loki woke up with a groan of annoyance, once again his dreams were invaded by Kristian. Why? He didn’t know. He had no intentions of ever seeing him again. Their first meeting, their first conversation, it should have been their first AND their last. Loki only surrounds himself with people he can gain something from, and Kristian has nothing Loki wants... Right?

But Loki could not stop thinking about Kristian and he found it irritating. What does he have to gain from him? Companionship? Understanding? Please... He’s the Prince of Asgard, The God of Mischief, he doesn’t need any of that! That’s what he tried to tell himself at least, but as he dragged himself out of bed, intent on getting some much-needed breakfast, he found himself heading the complete opposite direction to the dining hall. Before he even realised it, he’s stood in front of the grand Library doors. ‘Oh, for the love of the Gods!’ he gritted his teeth in irritation. ‘Maybe... Maybe if I see him one more time, it will put my mind to rest?’

Against his better judgement, Loki decided to see Kristian one more time. Entering the Library, he navigated through the countless people, mainly young students, who stared at him in surprise. Usually he craved such attention, but today he’s not here to feed his pride, he’s here to silence these foolish thoughts.

He found Kristian quickly, he was sat at the reception desk with his usual kind smile, informing an elderly gentleman about where he can find his desired books. But as Loki reluctantly waited for their conversation to be over, he couldn’t help but frown at the sight of Kristian. It’s like he made an effort to be overly female presenting.

He wore a deep blue bliaut, (typical clothing for an Asgardian female), a long, flowy dress with a low neckline that drew attention to his chest and a decorated belt that accentuated his waist. His long brown hair was in elaborate braids down his back, decorated with various beads and a silver barrette clip. There’s even some light makeup staining his face. This is more than simply him not being ready to tell the public about his true identity, it’s like he’s trying to convince himself he’s a woman, like he’s overcompensating for his admission to Loki. Like he’s in denial about who he is. Realizing that he’s standing there staring, Loki strides over to him, trying to shake off the concern that has uncharacteristically cloaked his features.

“To think the scholar got all dolled up and I missed the occasion,” he drawled, leaning on one hip as he crossed his arms. Seeing Kristian suddenly flinch, his eyes widening at the sight of him, Loki didn’t miss the swift increase of nerves as Kristian clearly wasn’t expecting to ever see him again.

He leaned closer, his tone dropping into a hushed whisper as he asked, “Has my dear library boy forgotten the confession of the other night, or are we again playing the role we’ve been assigned?” His jest held an undercurrent of concern, a rare vulnerability leaking into his words. Loki felt a surge of blind concern. Seeing someone brave enough to accept their identity, suddenly retreating back to the society’s norms and expectations, bothered him more than he’d ever admit. That was until Kristian interrupted his train of thought, pulling him back from the spiral of conflicting thoughts and emotions.

“I’d appreciate it if you could forget the other night.” Kristian retorted, his voice barely holding the respect it should towards Loki. In truth, he’s just hiding his vulnerability behind harsh words. He believed that if he ignored the ‘problem’ of his true identity, then surely it would go away, but Loki knew all too well that that is not the case at all.