In the Flower Field

Twenty-Seven: Before Death

"Are you asking my permission?" Tate and you are both laying out in the flower field, your hands running through Tates hair as he talks to you. "If you want to spend time with Violet I don't mind, just as long as you're not making out with her" you tease.

"I would never hurt you like that" his tone is completely serious, looking deep into your eyes.

"I was only teasing" he still reiterates his previous claim making sure you know just how true his words are. He would never hurt you. "I know darling, I trust you completely" you give him a light kiss to sell your point more.

"You wouldn't be jealous if I spent time with her?"

"Do you want me to be?"

"Yes, I'm jealous of anyone that gets to talk to, so why aren't you jealous at the idea of me spending time with someone I kissed?" Of course you're jealous how could you not be, you were Tates first everything you wanted to be his only. He's kissed Violet, you told him it was fine acting as if it didn't bother you but it did. Sometimes when you kiss him all you can imagine is him kissing Violet. There's nothing you can do to change the fact so why bother Tate with the useless information. The only thing you can do is make sure you're the last to kiss the brown eyed blondie.

You were planning on voicing just that, telling him that you know he loves you and he would never hurt you. However, you're saying something completely different, "I'm jealous" . You flush as you realize what you said Tate on the other hand seems so happy. His reaction has you so surprised you always thought jealousy was an ugly emotion. In this moment looking at Tates shiny eyes it seemed like the most beautiful emotion. You find yourself elberating spilling all your emotions out to him.

He sits there listening to everything you say, never interrupting, focusing solely on you. It felt nice to be listened to, you've never had this before. You've always been the one everyone else comes to the keeper of everyone's secrets including your own. Now though you have someone to tell your own.

"I didn't know you had a sister" right, you've never talked about your family before. You've always planned on telling Tate about your past; it only seemed fair since you knew everything about him. It just never seemed like the right time, you suppose now's a good time as any.

"Yeah, my little sister Peggy was twelve when I died." Tate perked up at that, you've never mentioned your death before. It was a subject that Tate knew never to bring up, yet here you are telling him. "I've never told you how I died did I?" Tates quick to shake his head no, you already knew the answer you've never told anyone. "My family, Peggy, me, my mom, and... My father moved into the house when I was sixteen. We had to move from our old house because people were starting to notice the bruises on my mom, no longer believing her excuse that she was accident prone. That the shouting coming from our house wasn't because my father got really passionate about sports. Though the final straw was when my teacher noticed a dark bruise around my wrist. She didn't believe that I fell down the stairs. So we moved and my Father grew better at hiding the abuse" Tate grip tightens on your hand, silently telling you that you don't have to continue. You just shake your head, "As I got older the more I went against my father, I was an idiot he would just beat me more. If he was beating me that meant he wasn't beating my mother or sister. My mother and I made sure he never laid a hand on Peggy." you let out a little laugh as you think over your next words. "I was almost eighteen when I died, I had planned on leaving, taking Peggy and my mom away from all of it. Now that I think back on it I was so naive to think we could ever have a happy ending or at least that I could. I took the long way, wanting just a few extra seconds before I had to go back to hell. Since I wasn't home for my father to take his anger out on he used Peggy I opened the door to find her crying on the floor crying my father standing over her. She didn't know you're not supposed to cry. I can still remember the look in her eyes begging me to save her. The next night mom convinced my father to let her take Peggy to her sisters. My father had a rule that at least one of us had to stay back because he knew we would never leave each other behind. So the two of them left. I put sleeping pills in the beer I gave him that night. Once he passed out I grabbed the belt he used to use on me and my mom. I just wanted him to suffer just a fraction of what we had to. He woke up though in the middle of me strangling him, to say he was furious was an understatement. He started beating me. I just barely got away managing to grab a knife as he chased me out the front door. Strangely enough I didn't scream when I was fighting for my life. I was terrified but I thought that I would either kill him or he'd kill me, either way Peggy and mom would be safe." He was seeing where this was going. He tried his best to comfort you as you told him more. "I managed to stab him. He let out such a loud scream yet no one called the police he was always yelling they grew used to his shouting. I stabbed him again and again and again. He was practically unrecognizable when I stopped both of us soaked in his blood. He was gone and I felt... I'm not sure what I felt but it wasn't happiness. I headed back inside, running a bath and grabbing a bottle of sleeping pills. I was just so tired of everything and now that my family was safe I could sleep." you laugh a non humorous laugh. "Imagine my disappointment waking up in the cold bloody water for a moment I thought I had filled till I looked behind me and saw my lifeless corpse."

"I'm sorry," you didn't deserve this, you sacrificed your life for your family. You didn't deserve to be trapped in this hell.

You wipe away your tears giving him a smile. "Don't be my sister got to have a life, the only thing I regret is not doing it sooner"