Moonstruck at Midnight

Chapter 13 - Premonitions

IT'D BEEN A MONTH AND A HALF since my first date with Thomas, and we had become inseparable. His father owned an apartment in the city and used it when he came to work. Thomas's mother also used it when she visited him, which wasn't often. That meant Thomas was free to use it on the weekends almost regularly.

He had a complicated schedule with school and rowing crew. His training regime was grueling. A typical training week for Thomas would be Monday through Saturday, from two to four hours a day. So coming on Fridays to the city was challenging for him. There were times when he couldn't come to see me.

And I have to be honest; it was tricky. I would miss him so much during the week. We would text like crazy during the day and have our mandatory phone call at night before bed.

Although I wished Thomas could spend the night at my place on weekends, that was impossible. I had too many eyes watching and reporting my every move to my father. I did not want to start my new independent life abusing my father's trust. He'd send me back to my old room in his apartment in a heartbeat.

Thomas and I did fool around—a lot. Our hormones raged through the week and found release on the weekends when we finally saw each other. But I was still a virgin, and Thomas knew about it and respected it. We were waiting until I felt comfortable and ready to take that next step.

I honestly didn't feel like delaying it that much longer. Thomas had me drooling, but I'd chicken out whenever the opportunity presented itself. I'd tell myself over and over again, next time.

There was another issue still pending in our relationship. I hadn't opened up myself to him regarding my mother's death. Since that was my Achilles heel, I was still reluctant about sharing myself like that with Thomas. He was going through a lot already, and I didn't want to add to his troubles.

Trust wasn't the issue. It had more to do with my capacity to take that leap into full and undisclosed vulnerability. He'd been so open and vocal with me from the beginning regarding his brother's death, but I was still afraid of showing myself entirely.

Being capable of letting yourself go like that and showing yourself to someone is powerful. I had many opportunities to talk about it. Still, having so little quality time to spend with Thomas in person, I never wanted to ruin those moments by turning the conversation toward me and my trauma. It felt selfish for me to do so.

Thomas was finally done with exams, and I had him all to myself for the summer. Well ... almost. He still had to train since his rowing team was going to attend an international summer competition in August. But we were going to spend more time together than the usual once or twice per week.

Thomas mentioned how he would typically go back to D.C. for a few weeks during the summer. It was not his favorite season of the year, but he did it for his mother. He wasn't sure yet when and for how long he would be leaving. He even considered not going altogether, but I didn't get it. I'd visit my parents if I were him. But I didn't want to meddle when he hadn't asked for my opinion.

And speaking of going ... Thomas and I were meeting my friends for lunch for the very first time. I texted him to let him know we were a few blocks away from his apartment.

Caleb couldn't stand Thomas. He insisted he didn't trust him. I usually ignored him or told him I didn't want to talk about it. He had no reason to feel that way about Thomas. He worried too much, as always. And I loved how he worried about me and wanted to protect me. But the combination of those things left me feeling like I was stuck between a rock and a hard place.

CJ and I had stayed in touch and regularly met for coffee or lunch, but I hadn't seen Nina since that yoga class in April, which was a shame. I liked her, but I was trying to avoid Juan Pablo.