Shall I still love you?

Chapter 10

As she walked closer to the mirror and rubbed her eyes, the person opposite to her did the same action. Catarina Krust looked down at her hands and froze. It was not the fragile bony fingers she was familiar with but instead a plump fleshy hand that resembled a paw. She felt around her body and her jaw dropped at the  thick and soft sensations on her hands. She looked into the mirror with abstract shock and shrieked.

"WHY AM I SO FAT!?! "

Catarina Krust screamed her lungs out. She would have thought it was all a dream if not for the sharp pain  on her hands after accidentally slamming down on a shard of broken glass. She did not notice her bleeding hands due to the extreme shock her brain was going through. What in the hell happened?!

Why was she back to when she was fifteen?

Wasn't she already twenty eight?

And what was with this ridiculous fat body?

Don't tell me that I time travelled? Wait. Was i reborn into the past?! Or did she just dreamed of what was to happen in the future?!

The concepts were ridiculous, but nothing could explain her situation aside from those.

Catarina Krust had to take deep breaths and recite the pi to calm down her chaotic mind.

Down in the garden, Mrs Krust was planting some small and tender saplings when she was scared out of her wits by the sharp ear piercing scream from her daughter's room.

Throwing away the gardening tool she was working with in anxiety, Mrs. Krust rushed into the room. She reached for her daughter's forehead to check her temperature and discovered that it was not burning up anymore.

"What happened? Why did you scream? Are you hurting?" Mrs. Krust questioned anxiously.

Seeing her panicking like her pants were on fire, Catarina Krust could not hold back her emotions and tears anymore.

Hugging her mother tightly, she burst into soft sobs which soon turned into a loud wailing. Mrs. Krust was frozen stiff upon seeing her rebellious and wild daughter crying like a child. Her brain could not process such ridiculous and unbelievable scene.

Mrs. Krust burst into tears as well, her cries making Catarina Krust pause mid cry.

Hold on.What was her mother saying!?

"... God, my God... What shall I do? My daughter has turned stupid after a fever!!! Catarina has turned into a fool after her brain was fried by the fever!! God!! My only daughter has become a good-for-nothing!!!" Mrs. Krust was wailing with no less vigour than Catarina Krust earlier.

Catarina Krust turned dumbfounded upon hearing her mother's cry. Her eyebrows and mouth twitched in suppressed mirth and anger.

To a certain extent, she could understand why her mother would react  like this. As far as she remembered, she had never been close to her mother in the past. They had always been clashing against each other and were never on good terms, let alone hug each other like this.

To suddenly be hugged like this, it must have come as a great shock and dealt  a huge blow on her mother. But wasn't that a bit exaggerated!? It was not like she doesn't have such soft sides to her. She just hid it better in the past.

Sighing, Catarina Krust wiped her tears away, held her mothers shoulder firmly and turned her to face each other.

"Mom, I didn't turn into a fool because of fever.I just had a bad dream so I was crying. But seeing you made me happy." Catarina Krust smiled happily at her mother who was looking at her incredously, as if she could not believe anything she was seeing or hearing.

Seeing Catarina Krust smiling and giggling like a young innocent child, Mrs. Krust was both astonished and gratified. When was the last time her daughter smiled happily like this? In fact, she never saw Catarina smiling after that incident.

"I thought your brain was fried because of your fever. Don't you dare scare me like that! I made chicken soup and some light dishes which are  in the kitchen. Go and have food. You've become so thin!"

Catarina Krust was speechlessas her mouth twitched. To her mother, weighing one hundred and seventy pounds at the age of fifteen was 'thin'. But she was happy, so happy that she thanked every diety she knew, God, Jesus, Buddha, Zeus for giving her a second chance at life.

Catarina Krust decided to take all the things she experienced before she was reborn as just a bad dream. The past life which she so much regretted, she decided to just consider it as one of the nightmares.

Nikolai Sardov, let's not meet each other this life. Even if we do, I'll never fall in love with you again. Giving one lifetime to you is enough. This time, I have to love and protect my mother and those who love me. I will live for myself this time. I will not live miserably like i did in the past.But first of all, I have to lose this godamn weight!How did I became so fat? Ahh... Yes, depression, moods wings, overeating.

Catarina Krust could feel the mind numbing itchiness in her body. She knew what that was. Her body was craving for cigarette. Thinking back, she admonished but pitied herself, she became addicted to smoking and drinking at a very young age because of depression.

I have to quit smoking and drinking.

Seeing her mother answering the phone and hearing her laughter, she very much wanted to say, Mom, please don't abandon me this time. I swear I'll be good and become strong enough to protect you.

But those words never made it out those heavy laden lips.

As she headed towards the kitchen, Catarina Krust's mind was filled with workout plans on how to lose weight before school starts. And how to not repeat the past.

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