Hiding Inside

Numb

Dr. Getz entered the hospital room to see Christine still silent in her bed. She did not lift her eyes as the doctor came in. She simply stared at the casts on her legs, tears slightly wetting her cheeks. Her hair fell over her face, as if it were shielding her from the world. Dr. Getz sat on the bed next to her and gently laid her hand on Christine's.
"What happened?" The sound startled Dr. Getz. She was almost unsure who said it.
"Out in the hallway?" The doctor asked. "Nothing for you to worry about." She lied.
Christine softly shook her head. "No, what happened to me? What happened to my family?"
Brenda Getz was an excellent doctor. She was a good friend, a wonderful mother and a loving wife. But she knew she was no good at this. Who could be?
"You don't remember?" Brenda knew the answer before she even asked the question, but she was attempting to put off the inevitable.
Christine shook her head again. She was starting to feel agitated, but she kept her head down and her feelings to herself.
"Well," Brenda sighed, "You three were driving, and a large truck ran a red light and hit you." The words felt like daggers in Christine's heart.
"When the ambulance arrived, they thought there were no survivors." Dr. Getz solemnly continued. "When they pulled your sister from the wreckage, they heard you coughing, so they..."
"Stop!" Christine yelled. She had heard enough. She didnt want to remember, but the images came pouring into her mind anyway. She cringed as the memory of the gas smell hit her. It was as if she was breathing in the fumes all over again. The sound of sirens rang, and her stomach turned as that night played over in her mind. Bits and pieces cutting her like glass.
"Christine?" Brenda knew this was not the right time, but it had to be done. "I have something I need to talk to you about."
Christine was barely listening. The sound of the doctor's voice was muffled by the sounds of tires screaching and sirens howling.
"Your father has a brother in Nebraska. Now, he is your only living relative." Brenda started. "The woman who was in here earlier thinks that is the best place for you." She paused, waiting for a response, but Christine was quiet and sat very still, with her hair covering almost all of her face.
"Christine? Did you hear me?" Dr. Getz was getting irritated.
"What?" Christine snapped.
"The social worker you met earlier wants you to go live with your uncle." Brenda repeated.
Christine heard her explain it the first time, but it was taking a while to process. She knew she was upset, but she wasn't quite sure why. Suddenly, reality fell on her like a building crumbling down to rubble.
I have an uncle? She thought. She couldnt remember ever hearing about any aunts or uncles. If he is really my uncle, why hadn't anyone told me about him? The questions rolling around her head were making her very uneasy. She lifted her head, which allowed the light to graze the tears on her cheeks. Shimmering twinkles of pain fell in her lap. Dr. Getz' heart sunk when she saw the fear in the little girl's eyes.
"It probably wont be so bad." Brenda tried to be optimistic, but it was obvious that she was worried too.
Christine was terrified of even the thought of living her life without her mother and sister.
Why couldn't I have just died too....