Just a little more

IV. Chapter 8 - Betrayal

I walk restlessly into my room. The phone rings. I take a deep breath and pick it up.

- B...
- How long has it been?

Silence.

- How long, Freen?
- ... it just lasted a couple of months, before us.

Her voice is low, almost inaudible. I sit on the bed and rub my tired face.

- Let me explain, pl...
- You had plenty of time to explain!!! Why didn't you tell me before?

The silence is cut by a sob.

- Bec, join me so we can discuss this better, please.

Her voice is trembling, desperate, almost frightened. And for the first time since we've known each other, I don't care, I feel so betrayed.

- Not right now.
- Be...
- Give me time, I'll...

I start crying uncontrollably. I hang up immediately. Freen tries to call me back several times, but I switch off my phone and throw it onto the bed. I put my head into the pillow and scream, as loudly and for as long as I can. Cries of rage, betrayal and disappointment. Why did she lie to me? She's the one who came back to me! Why if she was with him? I try to calm down, but to no avail. Bonbon hides under a piece of furniture out of fear. I walk frantically around all the rooms, banging into a few walls as I go. Fortunately, I'm home alone.

I go down to the basement, put on my boxing gloves and start punching the bag attached to the ceiling. I punch, hard, fast, trying to get rid of all this anger. I need to let off steam. Think of nothing. Punch...I imagine her with him... Hit... Their intimacy... Hit... his pleasure... Hit... No, think of nothing. Nothing. Hit! Hit ! Hit !

After several minutes, the muscles in my arms ache. Wearily, I sit on the floor, my back against the wall, without moving. My legs are outstretched and my arms are flailing on either side of my body. I stare into space. Tears stream down my cheeks. The pain in my chest is intense, like pressure, like tearing. It's hard to breathe.

What are we going to do now? What's to become of Freenbecky? We've worked so hard for this. I've been deprived of everything. Freen, what have you done? Why have you done this to me?

Blinded by my tears, I feel a body next to mine removing my gloves, then arms wrapping around me and squeezing. Richie is home.

- Shhhh, it's okay.

I cling to him and let go of all this accumulated sadness. I cry loudly. I'm crushed.

- I... I love her so much...I...

Richie strokes my back and rocks me back and forth.

- I know. You have to talk to her.
- No...
- It's important, little sister. For you, for your future. Come on, shhhhhh

We lie on the floor like this for a while, not saying a word, him leaning against the wall and me curled up between his legs. I'm so tired. My eyes sting, the skin on my face pulls, the muscles in my cheeks ache. I straighten up a little and rest my head on his shoulder, my breathing calmer.

- Why did she do this to me? I ask him softly.
- I don't know. You have to ask her, Becky. She's the only one who can answer you.

I don't want to talk to her. Not now. When my tears finally stop I go up to my room to lie down. My body has no energy left. I take her plaid, which I've kept since our last trip to the Philippines, and hold it close to me. It still smells of her. Why is it that the person who can hurt us are the only one who can really comfort us?

I close my eyes, the plaid close to my face, and fall asleep immediately.

***

When I open my eyes, it's already almost dark. The room is a bluish color, the window curtain billowing slightly, making the outside light dance on the wall in front of me. I stare for a few moments at these blurred, slightly orange shapes. So peaceful. There's no sound. I'm certainly alone h...