A girl's side of the story

Coming out of Adolescence.... scared or excited??

Hello..... people!!
[This is my first time writing something so ignore any mistakes u find as long as story makes sense]

So... Let's imagine you the reader is a girl...(if u r a boy u can imagine urself as a girl while reading so u would understand how a girl would feel in this story of her life)
Age??..21.. not so pretty..but in heart she feels so beautiful... She perceives the world as a pleasant and beautiful place to live if there's harmony filled all over ur heart..!

So I'm a girl!! Who's out of Adolescence... Ahh?? So u know all about sex and adulthood??
Oh...! I'm growing up!!??
Ahh.... Lot of responsibilities and problems and making urself stronger day by day to manage all the shit!! is what I feel adulthood is actually!

Okay.... Coming to feelings our emotions...... New year--new b'day--new shit-- new emotions...
But what's even new?? When u keep on going thru the adulthood..years by years...
U will feel like.. new shit new emotions and then new challenges to overcome!!
So when it alllll becomes overwhelming..... U feel so broken and collapsing down just like leaves falling down from the tree....one by one..day by day...
You want to go crazy.... Like hell to escape this hellllll.... inside ur heart.....
When the heart becomes...so heavy that you just want to fall down like a lifeless leaf!!
Then you slowly fall asleep....thru the night.... you wokeup...from a nightmare not so scary..n tiring..from ur own life....
Then you wonder looking at the dark ceiling of your room..

Should I go crazyyyyyyy ladyyyy to bring myself back??
Or just go fuck around with my life so someone would come n stop me??

This feeling of heart getting heavy.... So heavy that I just can't bear it ANYMORE... Don't know what to do to bring my heart back to beating as fine as pleasant as how I always wanted to look at life n world around me...

Should I go crazyyyyyyy??