On My Side

Chapter 1

"You've got to be kidding me," Eunwoo said into the phone to his manager, Mr. Suh. "I'm on vacation, hyung," he protested. "Who's idea was it to sign me up for a Spanish dating show when I'm on vacation?" he continued.

"You know how big Latin America is for us," Mr. Suh argued. "This is one of the most-watched shows in all of Latin America. This could be big for us," he added.

"How long is it going take?" Eunwoo asked, softening slightly to the idea.

"It only takes a couple of hours to film. This show is very unscripted. They just try to go with their first takes if they can," Mr. Suh explained.

"But I don't even speak Spanish," Eunwoo protested. "And plus, what do I do if I get paired up with someone on the show?" he asked.

"It's all fake for the stars that they bring in. It's only real for the regular people who are on the show. No one expects you to find love. It's just a show," Mr. Suh countered.

"Did they tell the girls that?" Eunwoo questioned. "Because some crazed fan might think I'm her boyfriend or something," he fretted.

"I'll make sure to be clear with the producers on that point," Mr. Suh continued. "Listen, I need you to do this for me as a personal favor. You're already in Los Angeles. Just go and do the show, and you'll be totally off the hook. No one expects you to actually date the woman you get paired with," he assured his nervous client.

Meanwhile, in a shabby apartment in East LA, a 24-year-old Latina was looking over the details of the contract for participating in Nuestros Corazones. "I can't believe you got me into this mess," she complained to her younger sister, Azul. "You know I'm an introvert! This is not my scene," she protested.

"Come on. How many times did we sit in the living room in our P.J.s watching this show?" Azul asked. "You love this show, and you know it."

"It's entertaining to watch, not to be in," Paloma argued. "Plus, it's super machista," she continued.

"Okay, I'll give you that point. It is kind of sexist, but you just have to commit to it. You don't have to stay with the guy they pair you with, but I'm just tired of seeing you here alone all the time. Can't you just try it to see if you find someone nice?" Azul urged.

Paloma sighed. "Why can I never tell you no?" she asked rhetorically. "This is totally against my personality," she pointed out, "but I guess, I could try to pretend to be someone else that day."

"Exactly!" Azul agreed. "We all have a shadow side. Be that girl, and commit to it," she advised.

"The theme had damn well not be chikinis!" Paloma warned, fearing that she might be subjected to having to wear a tiny bikini on TV.

"No, the theme is Sexy Teachers," Azul assured her.

"Poquito peor," Paloma groused.

Azul shook her head. "No, it's not worse than bikinis. You get to wear a skirt with a suit jacket," she assured her older sister.

"Uh-huh, and how short is the skirt?" Paloma asked, not waiting for Azul to answer. She leaned over and signed the paper and tossed it toward Azul. "There you go. Now, you can get off my ass, right?"

"Sure," Azul agreed with a grin as she quickly scooped up the paper and held it close to her chest. "See you there!" she called back as she ran out the door, still clutching the informed consent to her chest.

"This is madness," Paloma said aloud in her empty apartment. In the corner of the living room a patch of orange mold stained the walls. She loved her job teaching ESL to Spanish-speaking kids in East LA, but it wasn't ever going to buy her a penthouse.

Her family seemed to have an inordinate interest in love life, or lack thereof. Her mother and little sister both made not-so-veiled references to her singleness. Her father was the only one who never pestered her about being single. As far as he was concerned, no man would ever be good enough for her anyway. So, he was just as happy that she wasn't dating anyone. In fact, it was hard enough to bear her absence. He had not given her trouble when she had announced that she was moving to LA to teach ESL, but he couldn't say he was completely on board with it. In his native Mexico, it was not uncommon for single children to live with their parents. He would have been just as happy to have her stay home and substitute at the local school. But Paloma was always a free spirit. Just like the dove she was named for, she grew her wings early and was ready to take flight from a young age.

Even as a child, Paloma had been her own person. She was speaking in full sentences by one year old and was differentiating from her parents well before the "Terrible Twos". She preferred her own company to that of anyone else, and spent hours tucked into the corner of the large, brown couch in the living room with a good book.

She had watched her childhood friends pair off early and marry their sweethearts soon after graduating from college. But if she had done the same, there was little chance she would be free to travel wherever she wanted to and to do whatever job she felt like doing. At least, in her singleness, no one else had to suffer with her. No one else had to exist on beans and rice, ramen, and eggs with her in her dilapidated dwelling.

"God, I need a haircut," Paloma groused as she looked in the mirror at her reflection. Her black curls made a huge fuzzy cloud around her tan face. Her green eyes were striking, but she was never one to like contacts. So, her beautiful eyes were always slightly hidden by her black plastic frames. She rarely wore makeup because her idea was, "If you don't like my face, I can't help you."

She inspected her full lips. Well, my lips are at least one thing I have going for me in the looks department, she thought as she passed her finger over them absently. I'm not sure what I'm worried about, she wondered silently. It's not like I'm actually going to be chosen, she determined.

It's just like an acting exercise, she assured herself. It's like when my students do dialogs in English in class. I just have to play a character, she told herself. Nuestros Corazones was most certainly not her scene, just as she had tried to tell Azul. All the girls on the show were encouraged to be super sexualized, and the guys were rarely interesting or handsome. If Azul had not been a producer on the show, Paloma would never be doing this.

When Azul was young, the 6-year gap between them had seemed huge. Paloma had always felt like an extra parent to her little sister. When they fought over toys, her mother would always admonish Paloma, "She's just a baby. She doesn't know any better." So, Paloma would release the toy just to keep the peace. Despite her firm boundaries with everyone else in her life, when it came to Azul, she was all soft and squishy. "It's always about what Azul wants," she whispered with resignation, not resentment.

I'll just be using it as an opportunity to explore my spicy side, Paloma thought. She was a very buttoned-up person in real life, but she thought that she might be able to access something inside that would inspire her to be the opposite of what she usually was like. Maybe deep in the recesses of her mind, there was a part of her that wanted a man to find her attractive. After all, the whole show was typically a farse. Azul had assured her that most of the couples never lasted longer than their trip to the parking lot of the studio. So, Paloma decided she could play a character for one day since it was unlikely to produce any results anyway.