THORN LOVE

Poignant colloquy

"When you find out that there was never anything in the dark side to be afraid of ... Nothing is left but to love."― Alan Watts.

~

As Kinn sat by the shore, lost in the labyrinth of his own thoughts, he felt the heaviness in his chest intensify. It wasn't just sadness; it was a profound sense of disconnection, an overwhelming loneliness that seemed to swallow him whole.He pondered over his words, Porsche's words, and the old man's words, trying to understand it all, yet, his mind swirling with confusion. Against all odds, Porsche came all the way here for him. To fight for them. Nevertheless, he was immersed in the fear of making irreversible mistakes and haunted by the looming specter of failure. The prospect of inadvertently pushing away his husband and children, a consequence of his inability to untangle himself from the clutches of the past, loomed large.

When Porsche shared the traumatic experience he went through at the hand of his birth mother, all Kinn wanted was to hold him tightly and never loosen his grip. Yet unexplainable shock held him captive, rendering him unable to fully assimilate the revelation. Simultaneously, his own family tragedy, unveiled in the same breath, caught Kinn off guard, spiraling him into a maelstrom of emotions, unsure of how to process the news. He couldn't quite grasp his emotions, so he chose to block it from his thoughts.

In the intricate choreography of past and present, Kinn stood at a pivotal crossroads. Porsche's unconditional acceptance beckoned, and Kinn stood at the precipice of a decision that would shape not only his own destiny but the intricate threads of their shared future. He rose from his seat and entered his bamboo house. The emptiness enveloped him immediately, casting an unfamiliar air. Since Porsche moved in, the space had become alive, breathable. Porsche's presence on the bed, always requesting his care and affection, defined their routine. This was the life Kinn had yearned for—to find happiness and share it with Porsche.

In the quiet moments, Kinn recalled how, every night, as Porsche drifted into sleep, he would gently caress Porsche's stomach, connecting with the little lives growing within. He would softly whisper his love to their unborn babies, careful not to disturb Porsche's sleep.

Taking the ring from the necklace, he slipped it onto his left ring finger. His eyes moved back to the photo frame that was on the table, his fingertips gently lingering on their image, a poignant reminder of what they once had. He grappled with self-doubt, questioning if this desire was selfish, but one certainty lingered—he would be the father he never had. He'd be the husband he always wanted to be. He decided that the past wouldn't chain him but rather embrace a new beginning, especially when Porsche still craved him, flaws and all.

He rose with resolve, determined to shake off the lethargy by splashing cold water on his face. He made a valiant effort to cut his hair, despite the less-than-perfect results, and then meticulously shaved off his entire beard. When Porsche went on a shopping spree upon arriving in town, he splurged on suits, watches, and dress shoes for him. Kinn's lips curved into a smile as he changed into the tailored suit.The suit gave him the impression that Porsche bought it clearly believing he would bring him back home. Well, he did. A smile spread across his face at the thought, but his mind quickly raced with the thought that he didn't deserve Porsche's love, but he swiftly dismissed that notion.

***

After bidding farewell and receiving a heartfelt blessing from the old man, Kinn headed to Kiat's house. Outside the porch, he spotted Kiat diligently working on some papers, his hands occupied with a calculator.

"Key,"

As soon as Kiat laid eyes looks up to the voice, his jaw dropped at the sight of Kinn dressed to the nines in a suit that accentuated his features, making him look incredibly handsome.