A Decade Of Torture

#1

Eversince the day I regained my conciousness, I had always been somnolent. I didn't feel any sort of expression. I always had my doubts about being human. The only thing that was reminding me of my very own existence was this beating heart inside my chest. It didn't beat any faster or any slower. It was bereft of any sort of expressions or reactions. I was devoid of the simple natures of being a human. I never had any symphathy for anyone at the slightest. I feel as if I'm an artificial object whose nature was made by humans and whose heart was mold by their very own cruel hands. It hurts.. it hurts to.. I just don't know what I'm supposed to do. I just don't know what I'm supposed to feel. I want to believe in God, his divinity but I don't even at the slightest have any hopes, dreams or aspirations like a human would. I am simply a carved object molded into a human with a beating heart placed inside my chest. I know for myself that I will never feel like I'm a part of this society, I will never feel what it's like to be human for I am no longer one from the very start. Oh how cruel God can be.