Assistant manager- [M.S]

11

June 6th

I didn't sleep once when I was on the bus.

I was tossing and turning all night, i even went so far as to put in earbuds and put on a movie in hopes I would drift off in the background but it didn't help at all.

No one wanted to talk about what happened to Matt.

I think everyone was worried but also confused about the situation.

I texted Chris in the middle of the night, hoping there would be a update about how Matt was doing.

He didn't see anyone after the incident — no medical attention, no nothing.

Chris said he threw up again on the bus, but he probably got everything out of him at the arena.

He then told me to go along with everything nick told my mom.

I don't understand why my mother shouldn't know the truth, I mean I would want the truth too.

I've never seen anyone in the state Matt was last night, my first instinct was to get him checked out but that was thrown immediately out of the window.

Today, we are in Philadelphia. We are only going to be here until tonight then we are heading to our next stop after the show so we don't have to get checked into a hotel or anything until later tonight.

I woke up before everyone else, probably because I was worried about Matt and I wouldn't be able to sleep after seeing what happened to him.

Which again, I would love to know what actually happened!

I went back to the lounge area of the bus and looked out of the window to see that we were parked in a empty parking lot.

There's no way we would just be parked in a empty lot. We had to be at the venue.

"What are you doing up?" I hear my moms groggy voice. Everyone else must be asleep still.

"Sorry, did I wake you?" I question as a whisper back.

She closes the door as she returns back to her normal speaking voice.

"I was just waking up, then I saw you were awake" she says during a yawn.

Even we hadn't spoken about last night, i don't know if she knows anything yet or if she's just as clueless about the situation as we are.

I think she saw how worried I was, I wasn't even friendly with Matt, but seeing everything in front of my eyes was absolutely terrifying. I'm also not good with vomit either, so the whole peuky thing kind of freaked me out.

It was just one of those situations where you have genuinely no idea how to help. My body just went into shock and i couldn't comprehend the situation that happened.

I knew he was drinking before the show, and I'd be stupid to think there wasn't drugs in the bags so they were probably taken too.

If I would of spoken up and told somebody about what I saw then none of this wouldn't of happened.

But I didn't see anything.

Sure, I saw ziplock bags but i didn't see any actual drugs.

But nick told me when we were smoking together that I'd see some crazy shit in there.

"He's okay now" my mom spoke into the ground in silence.

Her statement caught my attention immediately, my head snapping over to her.

"Really?" I ask, as I adjust my position on the couch to face her, hoping she would reveal the truth.

She nodded and put her hand on my knee too reassure me.