Assistant manager- [M.S]

22

June 13.

Last night was a blur.

Everything happened so fast, then when it was all over, everything slowed down to a complete stop.
I invited Matt into my room and he entered without an ounce of hesitation.

I didn't know where to go from there. We had just kissed two seconds prior and now he's in my room, alone with me, from my own suggestion. A
I almost felt silly for inviting him in. I should have made him work for it a little bit more, but then again, I wasn't planning on taking it any further.
To be fair though, I was surprising myself a lot last night.

We awkwardly stood in the center of my room for a while, the both of us trying to come up with something to say or do after what had happened outside.

I told him that I wasn't sure why I invited him in, but I didn't mind if he chose to stay. He told me that we could just hang out for a bit, and I agreed.

The idea of us hanging out alone definitely felt bizarre. The only time this had happened before was in Philadelphia, and that was more of a chore.

He dropped his bulky bag onto one of the chairs by the window before searching for the television remote that had been placed somewhere in the large room.

While he put something on the TV, I went to my bathroom to get myself ready for bed. Before I washed my face or brushed my teeth, I stood with my hands on the sink, staring at myself in the wide mirror.

I could still taste him on my lips, and I could still feel him. I could feel the way he felt against my mouth in those few seconds. I could feel the way his fingers wrapped around my arms. I could feel the way the loose strands of hair that fell onto his forehead tickled against my face.

I kissed Matt.

No, he kissed me.

We kissed each other.

We work together.

My mom is going to kill me.

Every day here is just pushing me closer and closer back home

He doesn't need to know though, right?

He won't find out if I don't say anything.

I just have to make sure Matt doesn't say anything either.

This never has to happen again.

I grabbed my toothbrush, squeezing a line of toothpaste across it before brushing my teeth.
I was almost upset to be doing that. He tasted so good, then it was gone at once.

No. No, he tasted bad. Gross!

Who am I kidding? It was so good and now he's standing out there in my room flipping through the TV to find something for us to watch.

I washed my face and threw on a t-shirt that was way too big for me and a pair of running shorts I had grabbed before going to the bathroom.

I had to brace myself before going back out there. Knowing that he was waiting for me was absolutely terrifying.

It felt like so much had changed in the past three minutes.

I'm still as confused as ever though.

I don't know how this will change things, or if it's all in my head and it didn't mean anything at all.
I don't have feelings for him. Well, I definitely have feelings for him, but whether they're fully positive or negative is still left undecided.

It would be stupid of me to let one meaningless kiss change things. I mean, people kiss all the time, it doesn't have to mean anything. I've kissed a handful of people at parties - girls and guys - and we just went on with our lives after.
Matt does it all the time too.