Today was the day. I couldn't sleep for a long time last night. It's dumb anyways. It's just a guy in my class. But we're gonna hang out.
He seems different, there just something about him. I'm not sure what it is. He gives me butterflies.
No pressure, I just have to choose a perfect outfit that's hot, but not slutty.
That's a fun word, slutty. I've been called it many times. By men, by women. Parents, teachers. A lot of the time it's been girls at school. But it's also been the men I've dated.
Some of them I have to see everyday at school.
Jason. My ex boyfriend of 2 years. I see him everyday at lunch. He's always giving me my me looks. He makes me feel so weak. He was horrible to me. Made me feel like no one could ever love me but him. And that's why I stayed. It took having to go to the hospital for me to realize that he might not be the one.
And the worst part is, no body knows. Everyone at school still thinks he's fine. He has a new girlfriend. And I can only imagine what he is putting her through.
Eddie seems different. I don't know a lot about him, but he seems to care.
Okay, I think I'll wear my favorite outfit.
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I don't exactly know what all we're doing, but this should be good.
I finished my makeup and went down stairs. There was a note on the counter.
Staying at a friend's house for a few days. I don't want to be around your father right now. God knows if he's even home. He might be out for a few days too. I left the keys and my car is yours for as long as I'm gone. Do what you want, just be safe. - Love Mom
I figured something like this would happen. they were screaming at each other last night. I heard mom sobbing in her room. She was probably hurt. But I've learned from my sister to stay out of it all if I want to be safe.
I took the keys and left for school. This is so fucking annoying. Whatever, at least I have the house to myself. I bet I could have friends over at some point.
I parked at the back of the lot, so I wouldn't have to worry about accidentally dinging somebody's car. Hey, driving is hard.
I knew I'd get to see Eddie first block. It made my stomach turn but I was excited.
By the time I got there he was already seated. I think he got here early to see me?
Eddie: Oh hey! You look nice today. Ashley: So do you, you're here early. Eddie: Well I guess just on time?
I sat down. Ashley: So what are doing today? Eddie: I was gonna ask you your preference on food, but also I had a proposal. Ashley: Yeah? Eddie: Would you wanna go to the record shop off of O'Donnel? You know the one.
Ashley: Hmm? I don't think I know what you're talking about. Eddie: You're kidding right? We have to go. Ashley: Okay, sounds good to me. I mean I don't have to be home at any particular time. Eddie: Sweet.
The teacher came in the class began. We spent the whole class having little side conversations between the lecture.
When the bell rang I hauled everything into my back pack and dreaded leaving.
Eddie: Hey, do you think you'd wanna sit with me during lunch? Ashley: For sure, who do you sit with. Eddie: My DnD group. Dustin, and the Wheeler kid. You know, those kids? Ashley: Yeah, weirdly I've actually played DnD with them one time. Eddie: No way? Ashley: Yeah, Nancy Wheeler is my best friend and I've grown up with their family my whole life.
Eddie: Okay well I guess I'll see you at lunch then? Ashley: For sure.
We headed our separate ways and I got sat down in my next class.
Robin walked in blushing.
Ashley: Alright what kind of delusions are you having about some girl? Is it Vickey? Robin: Hey keep it down dumbass. Ashley: Did she look at you? Did she smile? Robin: She said hi to me in the hallway. And yes, she actually did smile. Anyways it doesn't matter, how's your man.
Ashley: He's hardly my man. He's more, the guy who sits next to me in first period. Perhaps even, the guy who has half a shot with me. Robin: Keep an open mind, that's all I'm sayin.
Ashley: I'm gonna sit with him at lunch? Robin: Oh? So does that mean you're abandoning me? Ashley: I'm sorryyyy! Robin: Could I, ya know? Ashley: Nooo, you'll make it weird. You can't join us. Robin: I promise I wouldn't! Ashley: Fine. But you can't act a fool or make fun of me in front of him. Robin: Deal.
