I plopped down on my bed. Going back to school was tiring. I'm so glad to be home. Not that I can even breath with all this damn homework.
I changed clothes to be a bit more comfortable.
The pencil.
I could call him. But I feel like that might be weird. What if he doesn't care, he doesn't find me interesting. I bet he just wants to sleep with me. That's probably all it is. It's all guys have ever wanted from me, and I'm done letting them have it.
I'm not gonna call him.
I can't put myself through some bullshit, I've already done that enough. And I know from experiences that it always starts with something dumb, like a call. And I'll always blame the one little decision that ruined everything.
Last time it was letting the guy come over to study. The time before that I let the other guy take me home from a party. It's happened time and time again, I've been taken advantage of when I'm vulnerable.
I've been through shit I wouldn't wish on anyone. All because of shitty men. And the men continue to be shitty. I fear they always will. I can't trust anyone.
But what if he'll care?
I need to decide if it's worth it. Maybe, just maybe, I'll dial the number. I don't have to say hello, but maybe he'll say hello. Maybe I'll be able to tell if he cares.
I'll do it.
I sat up and leaned to my beside table. I grabbed the receiver and out stretch my arms to attentively dial in the numbers whilst looking off the pencil. The numbers were hard to make out, but it wasn't too bad.
Okay I just have to do it.
I out in the last number and shakily held the receiver to my ear.
It rang for a bit. Then it went a bit static. Like the noise of someone picking up a phone.
Please let it be him.
Wayne: Um? Munson residence.
Ashley: Oh— Eddie?
It went muffled.
Wayne: Eddie get in here, you got some chick on the phone.
Eddie: It's not just some girl, give that here.
That might've told me just what I needed to know. I'm "not just some girl", maybe he was waiting on the call.
Eddie: Hello??
Ashley: Hey, this is Ashley, remember from—
Eddie: I recall, you were pretty adamant about letting me know your name, Ashley.
Ashley: Yeah yeah.
This was going good.
Eddie: Well Ashley, you have a very pretty name.
Ashley: Thank you, Eddie right?
Eddie: Mhm.
Ashley: So you asked me to call you, is there a reason?
Eddie: There is, I, well I wanted to you know if you wanted to hang out.
Ashley: Eddie you don't even know the first thing about me, what if I'm secretly a horrible person.
Eddie: Well I doubt that, I mean after all, you let me borrow your pencil.
Ashley: Yeah, that is a pretty good show of character.
Eddie: It is!
He spoke defensively, we both laughed.
Eddie: Ashley, would you ever wanna hang out with me?
Ashley: I think I would, what were you thinking exactly?
Eddie: Would you wanna come with me after school to grab some food maybe?
Ashley: That actually sounds great, I'd love to.
Eddie: Sound like a plan then.
Ashley: It does, I'm excited.
Eddie: Me too. Okay I can get out of your hair now.
Ashley: I'm glad I called.
Eddie: Trust me, I'll make it worth your while. Goodbye.
Ashley: Bye.
I could hear his smile through the phone as we hung up.
