Heartstrings Strumming

Part 2

Tommy:

"I'm not mad at you. You don't need to apologize so much. I just wish this wasn't happening right now. It's my fault for telling you. I never should have told you the one thing she told me not to tell people. I told everyone. It is all my fault. Don't apologize for something I did. It's my fault, not yours."

Sydney:

"I'm not a pick-me girl. Stop calling me that. I'm not a whore. Stop calling me that. It's not my fault guys are nicer to talk to than girls are. Do you think they are only nice to me because they like me? I hope you are wrong. I've never felt more secure in a friend group than I do in this one. I hope they feel the same way. I hope you are wrong."

       I think I am a part of this friend group. Everyone seems to really like it when I am there. I know he likes me but I don't think that's the only reason he wants to talk to me. I hope that's not the only reason. I don't want people to hang out with me only because they like me. Is that why I can only find guy friends?

Kaleb:

"I'm sorry I hung out with you the other day. It was just nice to talk to a guy that did not like me for once. I hope you don't like me. I don't think you do. Someone said you will likely start to like me the more I hang out with you. I don't want that to happen. I don't like hanging out with a group of guys that all like me. I just want guy friends for a change. I just want to hang out with someone that doesn't like me for once."

Tommy:

 "I did want to invite you but I didn't think you would be able to come with us. I'm sorry I didn't ask you. I promise I don't like them more than you.

I hung out with him twice now and he already likes me. I'm sorry I hung out with him just the two of us. I didn't think very much of it at the time. I thought there was no harm in hanging out with him. I'm sorry I also fell asleep on his shoulder the other day. I don't know why I keep doing that. Why does he have to like me? There's no way he actually likes me for my personality or anything of the sort. He doesn't even know me. None of the guys actually know me except for two. I am dating one of the only guys who actually know me. I hope you actually know me. Do you?"

       Everyone keeps saying all these guys like me because I am the first girl to give them any attention. I feel bad. I'm sorry I am giving all these guys attention, but I just wanted to be friends with them. I just want some guy friends. I've had guy friends in the past but this has never happened before. Why does it have to be like this?

Sydney:

"I don't need to be in a relationship to be happy. I just don't understand why I would wait to enter a relationship when we both clearly like each other. What would we be waiting for? Your approval? I don't need your approval anymore. I don't need you anymore. Stop talking to me as if you can control my life. You are not a part of it anymore. You have no control over me anymore. Back off.

He is mine. Back off. I know you like him but you lied to me and said you don't. You lied to me and said my best friend is mad at me for dating him. You lied to me and said she doesn't agree with my choices. I lied to you and said I still wanted to be friends with you. I am done trying with you. I give up."

       I want to say that was a lie but I'm not even sure myself.

       Why am I in this situation right now? All I wanted was a friend group and I ended up with a group of guys who all like me. Thankfully, a majority of them only like me because I am the first girl to give them any positive attention. I hope that means that they don't like me all that much and can get over it quicker. I hate it though. They only like me because I'm a girl. Why can't someone like me for me? I don't even know anymore.

Tommy:

"I'm really glad we started hanging out. I'm glad this whole group became friends. I'm happy to say we are officially dating. No more lies."

Liam:

"Do you know that I already know you like me?"

       I know everyone who likes me but they don't even know that I know. All lies. Everyone is lying to each other. I know something they don't. Everyone has their own little secret to keep from each other.

Tommy:

"Does he know yet about our little scare? Did you tell him? I know you think it will hurt him but imagine how much more hurt he will be when he finds out in the future. He just wants honesty. No more lies."

       Why do I have to talk to her about it? I'd rather just ignore the fact that it happened and go on with life. I know we fought, but I'm going to pretend we didn't. I don't want to talk to her about it. Screw honesty.

Matthew:

At least I still have you...