Frostbite

Laiken

I did not get enough sleep last night. Last night was the first night in a long time that I let loose and felt free. Free from skating. Free from my studies. I didn't realize how much fun I could have. The last time I had this much fun was when I attended one of Cole's bonfires in the summer. We lost our virginities in that forest. Right in the bed of his truck after everyone went home. It was the best night of my life. I've never felt closer to someone as I did to Cole that night. I can still remember what happened.

Cole invited the hockey team over to celebrate he and Brian receiving letters welcoming them to the Edmonton Oilers. There were probably fifty people that showed up. I was already half in the bag from sipping on White Claws all night. Natalia, Hannah and I were making our rounds talking to everyone and dancing. We probably looked like a bunch of drunk idiots now that I think about it. Anyways, we decided to play a game of never have I ever. When it came to Darius' turn to give his statement, he said "never have I ever had sex". Majority of the group put their hands up. I look over at Cole. Cole also had his hand down. He gives me a half grin. The sparkle in his eye made my drunk ass fall for him even harder, knowing he's been saving his virginity all this time. We never really talked about sex prior to this as skating was always our first priorities. Later that evening, when everyone started trickling out of the forest and headed home, I stayed back with Cole so he didn't have to wait for the fire to die down by himself.

We were sitting on his tailgate. The fire was just glowing ash at this point. He turns to me and says "Laiken, I know we've been together off and on for two years now but I think I'm ready to talk about moving to the next base with you. I think you're the one I want to be with forever". I turned to him and smiled, still a little drunk. "Me too. I'm glad we waited this long to have sex. I liked getting to know you better before jumping the gun. I didn't want you thinking I was a slut for asking you to have sex with me first". He looked at me with a sour face. "Why would I think you're a slut? You said you're a virgin didn't you? Having sex with someone doesn't make you some sleaze. You're such a sweet girl. You can do no wrong. Your life is perfect". All of a sudden, the two of us are making out in the box of his brand new Silverado and our clothes end up all over the dirt path. I can't remember if we used a condom or not. I wasn't on birth control either. Mainly because I didn't want to risk the side effect of gaining weight from it. That would've put pressure on my skating career.

Now here I am, eleven days late. Still no sign of my period. Sometimes it's late because of stress and with school just starting back up for the year, I don't have a doubt in my mind that that's the reason why it hasn't come. Coach Vaida meets me at the arena again. She has me run my routine the entire practice. Going through each section of it trying to clean it up for this weekends local competition. At least I was on time for class today. Brian, Kayley and I hand in our project early. Mrs. Stamos files it for us while she waits for the other classmates to hand theirs in. The due date isn't until next Monday but I'm thankful we got it out of the way. Now Brian can focus on his game and I can compete without any extra stress.

Cole doesn't meet me at my locker for lunch today, which I find pretty odd. Typically we talk about where we'd like to eat lunch and rush there before all the seats are taken by the few thousand students we have at school. I take my lunch out of my backpack and choose to eat in the library. As I turn left at the next hallway, I spot Cole hovering over Natalia at her locker. She's giggling and twirling her hair. Cole doesn't see me when I walk by. Though, I was walking behind a bunch of ninth grade students so I blended in being that there's barely a height difference between all of us. I caught a slight earful of what he was talking to her about. Something about going to his hockey game this weekend. Cole never invites me to his games. Not that I'd go anyways. Vaida doesn't let me. She says their poor technique on the ice will rot my brain.

As I enter the library, I spot Madison sitting alone at the table in the one corner. She's reading a comic book. "Hey Maddie. Mind if I sit here?" I ask, about to pull out one of the chairs at her table. Madison looks up at me, then back down at her book. "Oh its you. Yeah go ahead. Just be quiet. I'm reading". Cole's sister hates loud noises. It gives her anxiety. That's why she prefers to spend lunch in the library instead of in the cafeteria. I start to open my lunch bag, then pause for a minute. "Hey. Can I ask you something?" She looks at me again. This time, with an annoyed expression on her face. "What?" Madison snaps. Her attitude doesn't bother me one bit. I'm used to it because I've been around her for so long. "Do you happen to know a girl named Natalia?" I ask, a little nervous to what answer she may give me. Madison is also very blunt. "Yeah I know her. She's my cousin. Why do you ask?" Oh shit. "Never mind. Keep reading your comic."