Frostbite

Laiken

My alarm clock goes off at six this morning. This nausea is getting worse as the days go on, but I have to push through because today is competition day. I hop in the shower and quickly blow dry my hair. My mom helps me put my hair up in a ballet bun on the crown of my head. She already ironed my competition dress and washed my Skate Stellar jacket. Soon, I won't be able to fit into either of these things. I'm a little bloated today. Not enough for anyone to notice that I'm pregnant. Hopefully coach Vaida doesn't suspect its me that's knocked up. She'd never allow me to compete in this state if she found out it was me coach Larkin was talking about. Only a few of us are competing this weekend. Because of this, Vaida is just going to drive most of us there.

Coach picks me up at seven thirty. I put my skate bag in the trunk, then hop in the passenger seat. "Good morning. You look nice for once. Are you ready to compete?" Vaida asks. I roll my eyes at her snarky remark. "Of course I am. Mom is meeting us there. She's going to work for a few hours first." We drive around picking up the other skaters, then make our way onto the highway. Seeing all the cars speeding past us is making me nauseous so I try to keep myself occupied by scrolling on my phone. Cole left this morning at four. They catch a coach bus to the game. Cole's probably napping because he hasn't texted me since the bus left the station. We arrive at the arena in Red Deer. This is where the boys had their tournament last year. Their arena has one of the largest rinks in Alberta. They mainly host events here. Vaida checks us in at the front desk. I roam around, trying to find the competition schedule. I spot my name on the paper stating 'Gold level three'. I don't compete until two this afternoon. It gives me time to watch the younger skaters perform their solos. I'm the only one from Skate Stellar in the gold division. The others are in star four and five. They're a few levels below me.

Vaida has me help the younger skaters warm up. I help them practice their axels off ice. I recognize one of the girls that I occasionally help coach. Her name is Paisley. She's only ten years old and already competing star five. She's really good for her age. Paisley reminds me of when I was younger. I was about her age when I started winning every competition I'd attend. That's also when mom and dad figured out that they're going to have to work a lot more to pay for my skating. "Snap your arms in as soon as you lift, Paisley" I remind her. "You're letting your left shoulder drop. That's because you're not keeping your body straight up in the air. Its called a jump, not a leap. You jump straight up. Do it again" I demand. Paisley tries it again. She nails it this time. I clap and cheer for her. "Laiken, do you think I'll be as good as you one day?" Paisley asks me. "Of course you will. Keep practicing every chance you get and listen to us coaches." Paisley gives me a hug. I hug her back. The thought of her hugging me makes me think of my baby. How one day I may hug my son or daughter the same way.

Paisley's mom thanks me for helping her daughter and ushers her into the change room. She has to go get ready to compete. I take a minute to text Cole and see what he's up to.

Laiken: Hey baby. Did you make it to the arena yet?

Cole: Yep. We're having lunch now. How's competition? Sorry I can't be there to watch you skate.

Laiken: Its going well. Couple of the skaters just went on. We'll get their results in a few minutes. Good luck with your game today. Play like you're in the NHL. Make me proud. See you Monday?

Cole stops texting me. He doesn't really use his phone on game day. I don't take offense to it. My mom calls me. She lets me know that she made it to the arena. I meet her at the front entrance. "Hi sweetheart. I didn't miss your turn did I?" She asks. "No mom. I go on in about an hour. Want to help me stretch? Vaida's pretty busy with the younger ones." My mom agrees and follows me into the dressing room. She stretches my spirals and back. "Fuck sakes, mom. Not too hard on my back. It sore today" I wince. "I'm sorry. How about you practice your jumps instead?" We find an open area in the hallway and I attempt a few triples. The last time mom watched me skate, I could barely land half these jumps. She's impressed with how well I've been doing this season. "You'll be qualified for nationals in no time, Laiken" mom says, grinning from ear to ear.

Vaida finds me and lets me know the judges are ready for the gold level skaters. I quickly throw my skates on and rush to the rink. There's butterflies in my stomach. I can't tell if I'm excited or nervous. All of a sudden it hits me. My mouth fills with saliva. "Vaida, I'm going to puke" I confess. She finds a trash bin as quickly as she can. I upchuck all the pizza I ate for lunch. She hands me a water bottle. "Are you okay, Laiken? You never vomit before competing" Vaida addresses. "Yeah its just nerves. I have a lot on my mind." The announcer calls my name over the intercom. "Laiken Collins. Gold level three solo".