By your side (Rúben Dias)

Chapter Nine

The test wasn't painful physically, but emotionally. This was the moment Maddie was dreading. She enjoyed her pregnancy, even if some days were a little bit tough on her body. But she felt like she wasn't going to be able to enjoy it fully until she knew the baby was Rúben's. But...what if she wasn't? What then?

"What now?", asked Rúben. "When will we know?"
"9 to 11 days. We'll send the results to your address".
"Thank you", they told the nurse and left.

Rúben took Maddie's hand and instead of walking her back to the car, he moved away from it.

"Rúben...where are we going?"

"McDonald's".

"Can I ask why?"

"I'm buying you an Oreo McFlurry".

"Was I a good girl and so I get to eat dessert before lunch?", she teased.

"You're always a good girl".

"You're making that sound dirty".

Rúben snorted. "I think it's the pregnancy hormones that make you think that".

Rúben ordered Maddie's ice cream and brought it to the table where she was waiting for him.

"Really, why are we here?"

"I don't know. I just don't know what to do to make you feel better and so I thought food could help".

"Food always helps", she said, moving closer to him to cuddle his side. "But you can't help me now. I just need those results. I won't rest until we have them".

"I just worry you'll make yourself sick or something".

"It'll be fine. I'm just...sad, I guess. That we have to go through this. And I have to put you through this. You don't deserve it".

"I don't want you to ever be sad, Maddie. That's the issue. And don't worry about me".

"Try dealing with these hormones yourself, then. It's a rollercoaster of emotions".

Maddie could see how sad Rúben looked then, knowing he couldn't help. So she hugged him tighter. That was all they could do at the moment. Be there for each other. And hope they'd always be there for each other no matter what those results told them.

**

Exactly eight days after the test, Rúben got home from training, excited to see Maddie. He had a match the next day but it was a home one, so he could spend all afternoon with her. But he didn't expect to find her crying when he walked inside the apartment.

"Maddie! What's wrong? Are you ok? Do I need to call an ambulance?"

He was panicking. How could he not? But then...he saw the envelope on the coffee table.

"Maddie?"

"It's not your baby", she said in between sobs and Rúben closed his eyes and sighed. A part of him wanted to cry too but he couldn't allow himself to show any type of weakness. He had to be strong for Maddie.

"It doesn't matter. She'll be my daughter. Her DNA means nothing".

"You know it does matter".

"It doesn't", he said, his tone so serious Maddie finally looked up at him. "She'll be registered as my daughter and raised by me. By us. I'll love her as if she was mine because she'll be my daughter. No buts. A father is more than just a sperm donor".

"I guess...".

"Maddie. I've loved her since the day you told me you were pregnant. Can't you see that?"

"And I love you".

He smiled. "Good you finally caught up because I've loved you for so long and it's nice to be on the same page and all that".

Maddie laughed and cried at the same time. "I wanted her to be your daughter more than I've wanted anything in my life, Rúben. That's why this is so hard. I'm so sorry".

"I wanted that too but we knew this was a possibility. But no one will ever find out. And we'll forget about it soon. Once she's here with us, she'll be all that matters".

"She already is", said Maddie and Rúben couldn't agree more.

Maddie got up from the sofa and Rúben was ready to follow her but she just needed to grab some tissues for her tears.

"Can I be honest with you?"

"Always", said Rúben.

"I know you've said the same since you found out I was pregnant. But still...when I read those papers and saw the result, the first thing I imagined was you kicking me out. Telling me to do this alone because why would you have to care?"

"Maddie...".

"I know. You never made me feel like that. Ever. You did the complete opposite. But the doubt was still there in my brain. The fear, I guess. It's irrational. But it scares me to think I'll have to do this on my own because I want to do it with you. I want her to have you as a dad. I feel we're a team".

"We are a team. And I'm not leaving. Not now, not ever".

"I know", she whispered.

Once Maddie was done crying, Rúben took her to their bed so they could take a nap. She had exhausted herself by worrying and crying so much. And the baby didn't need that. She needed to be strong and to rest.

"I thought we could pick a name now", said Maddie and Rúben looked down at her.

"That was a short nap".

"I'm not sleepy. Can we pick a name, please?"

"Sure. Do you want to make a list?"

"I already have one".

Maddie jumped out of bed...or the closest to that she could do in her current state. And opened one of her notebooks to show Rúben the list she had made weeks before.

"It's pretty short".

"Yeah, you can add more if you want to".

"No, these sound good. And you have better taste than me".

They kept reading the names out loud and the meaning to them. Maddie had really done her research.

"Ok. Now we've gone through them a bunch of times, we need to choose".

"How do we do that?", asked Rúben.

"How about we count to three and say one? And then we can choose between your favourite or mine".

"Ok".

They closed their eyes and then Maddie did a 3,2,1 countdown.

"Ingrid", they both said.

When they opened their eyes, they smiled at each other. But the biggest smile was Maddie's.

"Good teamwork".