The Girl He Used To F*** [The Rozovsky Heirs 12]

CHAPTER 9

Chapter Nine

Once A Playboy

I didn't know how our conversation ended and how I got the courage to walk away from Toine again. Ang sigurado ay ang sakit ng ulo ko at ang bigat ng dibdib ko dahil bukod sa patuloy na pagbalik ng mga alaala at mga emosyong dulot niya ay natatakot din akong hindi na muling maghiwalay ang mga landas namin.

Even though my traitor heart was slowly loving the idea of us catching up, my mind had to remind it the reason why I am where I am and who I am forced to be today. Napakalaking parte no'n ay dahil sa kanya.

"How did it go?" may bahid ng lungkot na tanong ni Matt sa akin kinagabihan.

Hindi lang dahil buong araw akong hindi sumagot sa mga tawag at texts niya kung hindi dahil alam niyang ang dahilan no'n ay si Toine. I heard him sigh quietly as I began telling him what happened after I dropped his call.

Bringing Toine to my favorite restaurant tainted the idea of it as my go to place. Parang kapag pupunta ako ro'n ay siya na lang ang maalala ko. I hate bringing him to my places, but I hate myself more for being so affected still.

"That's it?" Matthaios finally asked after five minutes of me talking non-stop about what happened after I ended his call earlier.

"That's it."

"Why don't you go back to Coastal Rock, Lacey? Paano kung magkita ulit kayo d'yan at kulitin ka niya ulit?"

"Don't you think it's more dangerous if I go back? Paano kung doon kami ulit magkita? Paano kung..."

"Do you need me there?" agad niyang tanong nang matigil ako.

Bigo akong napayuko. "I don't know, Matt. You know I always need you but don't you think I'm just being dramatic? I mean come on, it's been fifteen years. Bakit ako natatakot? Bakit kailangan kong mag-alangan para sa sarili ko? I know everything is safe. Iyon lang naman ang ginawa ko sa lahat ng taong lumipas. Kung mayroon man akong dapat gawin ay harapin siya. I need to be strong and face him like I should if ever we meet again. Hindi ako dapat makaramdam ng kaba, 'di ba? You know how life taught me living in those years."

"Are you really over him?"

"Of course, Matthaios! How can you ask me that?"

"Because Toine is right. I think you're lying. Hindi lang sa kanya, sa akin, kung hindi lalo na sa sarili mo."

"Don't go there, Matt. I'm just surprised that we met. Never in my wildest dreams na naisip kong magku-krus ulit ang mga landas namin."

"And now it does. Pati ba ang mga naramdaman mo hindi mo napaghandaan?"

Naitikom ko ang bibig at hindi na nakapagsalita. I get his point but I feel like he was attacking me. I appreciate his view on this but I don't like it.

"Look Lacey, first things first, figure out what you really feel. Kung tingin mo ito na ang tamang oras—"

"No," I immediately cut him off. Napapaahon pa ako sa pagkakaupo dahil sa idea niyang 'yon. "Please don't ever mentioned that or I'll hate you."

He heave a sigh. "Okay."

"I'm sorry but I don't like talking to you today, Matt. Tama ka, kailangan kong isipin muna lahat ng nararamdaman ko ngayon pero hinding-hindi mangyayari ang gusto mo. I need to go now. Talk to you tomorrow when everything is calm?"

"I'm one call away, Lacey. I'll wait for you."

"Thank you, bye."

Pinatay ko na ang tawag. Imbes na magtago na lang sa suite ko ay nagbihis ako at dumiretso sa gym. Doon ko iginugol ang lahat ng inis para sa sarili. But then the memories of him kept haunting me and I was lost to it again.