As far as the Sky

Chapter One

One week before-Addison

I wake up at the morning sun, voices are coming from the living-room. Everybody's already up. I get out of bed and open the curtains hiding the vue we have from my bedroom window: trees, houses. And I notice this morning that there are not only leafless trees and a grey sky but also a thin coat of snow. I smile: I love snowy days, especially because here it happens less frequently.

My phone buzzes with a new notification, bringing me back to reality.

"14th February: Valentine's Day", displays my phone screen.

A tear falls along my cheek as my smile disapear.

It's been one year.

I shake my head, trying to forget it and slide to the left to delete the notification.

I take a deep breath. I'll live this day just like the others, because it is what it is: a simple Sunday.

I get downstairs and join mom and dad in the kitchen. Dad is making pancakes and mom is sitting at the counter, laughing at dad's non-funny jokes.

"Good morning, sweetie", she smiles as she sees me coming.

"Good morning", I reply, forcing a smile.

"Good morning, sweetheart. Are you alright?"asks dad.

"Yes", I answer,"I'm fine."

I sit beside mom.

"We know this day is hard for you", mom continues.

"It's just a day", I reply, not thinking half the things I say.

"We thought you'll need some company", dad says.

"It's okay, I reply. You guys go have dinner or whatever; it's Valentine's Day."

"We don't want to leave you alone", mom insists.

"I'll be alright. Anyway, I have a lot of homework to do."

"Are you sure, honey?"

"Certain."

Dad serves the pancakes into three plates. I add maple syrup on mine and dad joins mom and I at the bar to eat. Once I have finished breakfast, I hurry upstairs, pretending to "go do my homework". In truth, I have not any homework to do. And even if I had, I will not be able to focus.

I hate being distracted, and I hate to remember the unlikable things that happened in the past. And I don't want to make this day about all of this. On the contrary, I want to forget all this problems, I want to put the past right back to where it was. I guess it's easier to hide the "dark side" of your life so deep that no one notices you have one than to admit you had a past with a "dark side". 

People use to say time heals all wounds. And I thought it was true, until exactly one year before.  This day changed my perspective of my whole life, and of the world. It brought me change even if I didn't ask for anything. And I know change can be good in a certain way but THIS change wasn't "good".

I lean against my bedroom door and l sit, my back against the door and my  arms around my knees. I let tears fall, incapable to catch hold of them. During a few minutes, I stay like that, silently crying. I see the accident happening all over again before my eyes and cry harder.

But when I open my eyes again, my look is caught by my dream board posted on the wall.

I almost smile, reading the quote: "The mistakes are here to remind you you can always try" or "Crying only means you are alive".

On this poster, I rewrote some of my favorite quotes and quotes which make sense to me. Now, that's these few words which help me get up and dry my tears.