Why It's a Good Thing: Chapter 1: Alone

Chapter 8: It's Up to You

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“I have a question.” Adam says in the middle of homework.

“Sure.” I say, wanting to know what it is.

“Does Joletta like me?” He asks.  “I think she does.”

I consider my answer with extreme care, if I tell him she does and she finds out, I’m toast.  “Well… I can’t be one hundred percent sure.” Which is the truth in some form, I mean, one minute she might like him and the next she decides not to.  Since I don’t get minutely updates on her crush on Adam, I can’t be sure… I put too much thought into these things.

“Oh,” He says disappointedly.  “Because I think I’m starting to like her… a lot.”

My jaw drops and I cover it with my hand.  “That’s… great.” I guess when my dad died all of those things that happened between us really was because we are such good friends.  Nothing more, she is actually winning.

“Hi, Julissa!” My mom greets me when I get home.

“Hi mom.” I say in the normal voice I use, so she won’t expect anything.

“How was your time?  Was Joletta there?” She asks.

“It was good,” I say, opening my bedroom door.  “And no, she wasn’t there.” I lock my door behind me and made sure to shut the door quietly.  My mom never said anything back so I know I am safe.  I crash down on my bed and start to cry.  Cry and cry and cry.  Silently, of course.  After crying every night because of daddy, it feels good to cry over something else, and I know how to do it silently.  At that moment the phone rings.  I check the caller ID and it shows Adam’s number.  “Hello.” I say after wiping my eyes and sniffing.  I sound somewhat normal.

“Hey, it’s Adam.”

I know.” I say, stiffly.

“Why so harsh?” He asks.

“I don’t know.” I tell him.

He pauses.  “Is it because I like her?”

“…No.”

“Are you sure?  You sound like you have been crying.” He is probably the only human on the face of the Earth who would be able to identify my crying voice on the phone.  “Is it?”

“Daddy.” I say, even though it’s not.

“Oh.” He says.  I don’t think he believes me.

“So, why’d you call?” I ask, trying to make the conversation go away.

“It’s Joletta.  She asked me out, I wanted to made sure it was okay with you before I made a definite answer…” I start to cry again.  I hold my thump over the receiver, sniff, and put the phone back up to my ear.  “Julissa?” He asks.

“Yes?” I answer.

“What do you say?” He asks me.

“Um, sure.  Do whatever you want.  I’m fine.”

“If it’s not okay with you I won’t go out with her.  This is up to you.”

“No, it’s fine.  Go out with her.” I tell him.  I want you to be happy. 

“If you say so.” He says.  “Well I’d better call her back… bye.”

“Bye.” I say.

 

I throw the phone onto the floor and cry a little bit more.  I’m so glad Joletta is not here to see this.  I was up to me!  I really am too nice to the enemy. He seems to be happy with her and I can’t bring myself to hurt him by telling him who he can and can’t date, so I’ll let him be with a “nice” girl.  I feel like I’m in the original Little Mermaid.  The little mermaid couldn’t bring herself to hurt (kill) the prince so instead, she died and left him with the evil woman for the rest of his life.  But the little mermaid would have had to kill the prince to get her voice back, I would have had to hurt Adam so Joletta couldn’t have him.  But I would never hurt him.

The phone rings and an unfamiliar number comes up.  I sniff and answer.  “Hello?”

“Hi.” Comes Joletta’s evil voice, a happy evil.

“What do you want from me?  You’ve already gotten enough.  A boyfriend, my sadness, something for just you two.  What do you need how, your royal highness?” I ask her.

“Nothing.  Just to give you a quote of me from the other day,” She pauses for effect.  “You’re too nice to the enemy, darling.”

“Don’t call me that.” I tell her.

“What?  Darling?” She asks, sounding even more evil and manipulative than usual.  “It suits you.  I really must go, I hope I can talk to you later, darling.” 

*Click*

 

I have stopped crying by now but I stay in my room for an hour longer to make sure my mother will not be able to detect any trace of crying.  Even if it’s a tiny res spot below my eye, she’s excellent at detecting this stuff.  I get a piece of paper, a sparkly, blue pen, and go back to my room.  I have no one to tell about this so I have to write it down.

 

To whoever is invading my room and is looking through my stuff-

You shouldn’t be reading this right now.  Put it down before I write more.  

 

Adam is going out with Joletta.  Joletta!  He doesn’t know what she does to me, I’m not half as bad to her as she is to me.  I hate her, she goes around and calls me darling because she KNOWS it bothers me!  She drives me nuts.  But I guess I really shouldn’t care because Adam will be mine in the end anyways.  I think I’m just trying to get my hopes up.  Adam told me homework could be our thing.  Our thing.  And now I’m cut down to every other week doing homework because Joletta gets the other weeks.  I want her to move back to wherever she came from and never come back.  

 

-Julissa 

 

I fold the paper up as tiny as possible and put it in my bedside table.  Laying my head on my bedpost I think about how I will never be able to get rid of Joletta now.  Now she will be around forever and probably for everything.  She will probably be there every day for homework.  It was up to me and I let her have him.  I let him have her.  I’m just glad it’s Friday and I don’t have to watch them be together.

Later on Adam calls me and asks me if it’s okay that he and Joletta do something alone since they are going out.  I’m surprised he’s still keeping his word about asking me before they leave me out of anything.  It makes me like him even more, which makes things worse.  I told him it was okay, even though it wasn’t.  Nothing is ever okay because of Joletta.  She makes everything bad.  Terrible.

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