JAMES - TVD

3

The funeral was a success in Jamie's eyes. The entire town showed up and gave their condolences to the teenage girl, but she hardly paid attention to them. She was too worried about what she was going to say.

She didn't have to make a speech. It wasn't necessary, but Jamie wanted to show everyone how much she was going to miss her father, despite everything he did. So once it was time, she stood from her seat next to Sheriff Forbes and her daughter, Caroline, and walked to the wooden podium.

She looked around the room. Everyone she had grown up with sat watching her, waiting for it to be over or waiting for her to break. She grew nervous the longer their beady eyes stared at her face, and she decided to pull out the white notecards from her pocket.

Jamie cleared her throat and spoke, "Thank you, everyone, for being here. It means a lot to me." She was sincere. Even if they were at the funeral out of obligation, it felt nice knowing that people were there.

"Um," Jamie took a breath in. Her eyes ran over her words, the ones she had written, and she realized she didn't like them.

"I'm sorry. I'm looking at the words that I've been practicing for days, and I've only now noticed that they're not what I want to say."

She clenched her jaw and looked up. She could feel the tears build, but she didn't want to cry—at least not yet.

"My father was terrible. I know it's bad to speak ill of the dead, but there is no use in lying. He was a terrible neighbor; he used to pass out on a few of your yards throughout the day; sometimes he would dig through your trash and leave the mess. He was a terrible customer; he was kicked out of the grill more times than anyone could count, and eventually, his only access to alcohol was from a gas station just outside of town. But most importantly, he was a terrible father."

Jamie laughed as she reminisced about the core memories she shared with her father. The times she bribed him growing up. The moments when he locked himself in his room as he threw his glass bottles around. The time he tried to break down the bathroom door for her being in his room or the time when she had to drag him into their yard from some poor neighbor's house.

The crowd watched worriedly as Jamie giggled over her thoughts. They hadn't the brightest idea what was making her laugh, but they knew it wasn't good.

"See, James Ashton was the worst father anyone could ever have. I wouldn't wish him on anyone." Jamie went serious; the small smile that brushed her face disappeared, and her eyes were spacy. "But he was my dad, and in some twisted turn of events, I still love him. And I'll miss him." She turned from the crowd and looked at the picture set up in front of his coffin; it was the only one that Jamie was able to find where he looked happy. He was seventeen at the time and seemed like a completely different person than the one she knew.

"Goodbye, Dad." She whispered to herself. Then she rounded the podium and returned to her seat in between the Forbes women.

Caroline grabbed her hand for comfort and smiled softly. Jamie returned the gesture and squeezed her tightly.

Her friendship with Caroline grew out of nowhere. After spending multiple days sharing a house, Caroline was curious about the girl. So, despite her mother telling her that she needed to be gentle with the mourning girl, Caroline came across as crass and blunt. It surprised Jamie exponentially, as she had become accustomed to everyone walking on eggshells around her, but having someone talk to her normally but still acknowledge the events that happened made her feel sane, even if it was only for a few seconds.

Myra watched as her daughter found comfort in someone who wasn't her. She felt selfish, as she wished that she sat next to Jamie instead of Caroline and Liz Forbes. She wanted to hold her daughter's hand and say comforting words, but she wasn't allowed. So, she sat next to her husband and listened to the sermon as the priest gave her ex-boyfriend and father of her oldest child a goodbye.

*~*

Her father was now six feet under.

Jamie watched as they lowered him to the ground and buried him with dirt. His stone was already carved and placed at the head of the plot. His body is forever resting next to his mother. The curly-haired girl thought she would have felt more sad.

She had imagined what she would have been like that day. She pictured herself sobbing and dropping to her knees. Maybe she would have clutched onto the dirt as Caroline and her mother tried to pull her back. She would have yelled and screamed and let the emotions take control of her entire body, but that didn't happen.

Oddly enough, Jamie felt content. She hadn't known what started his alcoholism, but now that couldn't hurt him anymore. He didn't live in filth, and maybe he might see his mom again. She realized death was his savior.

"You okay?" Caroline asked as she walked and stood next to her new friend.

Jamie read and reread the name on the marking.

James Arian Ashton

Sept. 9, 1968–April 5, 2009

Beloved Father & Son

It felt weird to see her full name on a gravestone. The same name that her grandfather shared with his father and his father before him until the first James Arian Ashton. It was a family name, and Jamie was the first girl to be part of that tradition in seven generations.

She nodded and looked at the blonde. "Yeah, do you want to go get something to eat?"

Caroline blinked, surprised by the sudden change in topic, but agreed nonetheless.