One More Time

Chapter 6: Don't Wanna Leave You

Shame

It was shameful.

Shame was all Mingyu could feel as he lay face down on the bed, disgusted with himself with every fiber of his being. This huge man, who had never met anyone as big as he was, felt so small. Wonwoo may have been smaller in stature, but whenever Mingyu was next to Wonwoo, he felt crushed. So he could do nothing but bury his face in the sheets and wish it would all just go away.

He heard footsteps. Every muscle contracted as he listened to Wonwoo come out of the bathroom, pause, and slowly make his way to the bed. Mingyu was naked except for his underwear and every imperfection in his body was on full display. He hadn't meant for this to happen. He had told the boy to leave so that he could avoid all this. But what good had it done? However he'd hurt Wonwoo, the boy was acting like a completely different person.

He held his breath when he felt Wonwoo's presence beside the bed. He was afraid of what he would see if he lifted his face. How was Wonwoo looking at him? Like a wreck? Or a disgusting piece of filth?

Wonwoo didn't say a word. Mingyu gritted his teeth and took a shaky breath. He felt the bed collapse, Wonwoo climbing on top of him. Despite the situation they were in, he couldn't help being affected, couldn't help the movement in his lower body. He waited, silent, as he felt the fingers climb up his arm and onto his shoulder. Was he really going to... fuck him?

"My bad." Wonwoo spoke without stuttering, as if he were having a normal conversation. The sounds of him rummaging through his bag filled Mingyu's ears. "I put more meaning on you than you really were."

A cracking sound came from just to the left of his chest.

"I knew it," the boy said. This time his voice was as soft as Wonwoo has always sounded. Mingyu shuddered at the warmth of fingers brushing vaguely against his back. "I knew you wanted me to stay when you told me to go."

The man's heart raced so fast it shook his body.

"I wish I hadn't put so much meaning on you. I made you feel like you had to be stronger than you were."

Mingyu didn't understand what was going on. Why was Wonwoo talking to him so delicately? And why were his eyes tearing up? Hadn't he used up all his tears years ago? What the hell was that boy doing to him?

He gasped as something cold touched his neck. The boy paused for a moment, letting him get used to it, then continued to run his fingers along his neck. When Mingyu realized he was rubbing something on his neck, he paused, frowned, and finally pulled his head out of his arms and tried to look behind him. "What-"

The boy with the brown eyes leaned over and pressed a kiss to his temple. Mingyu was torn between stiffening and melting away. Wonwoo's features were soft as he pulled back. Mingyu had never seen a face like that before, so sad and loving and hard at the same time. What he knew of Wonwoo could be counted on one hand, but when he looked into his eyes, he saw a whole world. And though Mingyu hadn't realized it until that moment, ever since Wonwoo had started coming here, he'd always looked into those eyes and tried to escape the hell that was here. Wonwoo was not only making him forget his pain, he was now healing his wounds.

"What are you doing?" whispered once he managed to find his voice.

"Antiseptic for wolfsbane," Wonwoo explained as he pointed to the box of cream, continuing to rub the cream on the man's neck, not taking his eyes off his work. "Removes the scars overnight. Reduces pain."

"Why..." Mingyu turned his head forward again and pressed his lips together. He felt like if he kept talking he might tell Wonwoo something he didn't want him to know.