One More Time

Chapter 8: You Look Like My Next Mistake

When he first came to PASSIONBAR, Kim Mingyu's pain was as fresh as the first day. No one had taken pity on him, respected his loss or showed the slightest sign of caring. His presence was despised like an old shoe in a dumpster. When he first started this job, he had a heart that could feel pain. Then one morning, in the middle of his second year here, he realized he felt nothing. He was empty, as if all his feelings had been erased overnight. He admits he was relieved. Just the thought of not being hurt anymore was enough to pick up the pieces of Mingyu that had been broken so many times.

Why was he terrified now?

"You wanted to see me?" he chirped as he shook himself to look at Jihoon, who was standing in front of him, his chin resting against his hand as he smiled his huge smile. "You look good, Mingyu. I don't remember you looking this alive in a long time. Hm? Do you have a question?"

"Yes," he interjected, barely pausing from the words that followed one after the other. He put the drying towel on the counter and leaned forward. "I haven't had a customer for a week."

Silence fell between them. Looking into his blinking eyes, Mingyu thought maybe he didn't know what he meant.

"Jihoon? If Yujin hears about this..." He had to grit his teeth and keep quiet.

"There's nothing to worry about. She won't care if you're impotent as long as you get paid." He managed to subvert Mingyu's perception, relaxed as if the topic of conversation was whether or not they'd run out of chocolate canapés, one of the one or two desserts they served with their drinks. He had a warm smile on his face that hadn't lost any of its sincerity despite the bar lights.

When Mingyu could stop himself from looking into his squinting eyes, he asked, " Did I get paid?" He clenched his jaw and waited for an answer.

The smile on his face widened a little more, as if that were possible. "Yes, it's done."

"Who...?" he began, his thick eyebrows furrowing, but then, before he could finish the sentence, he realized he already knew the answer. His heart in his broad chest began to flutter desperately. He bit his tongue to keep his racing pulse under control, but it was impossible. Any supernatural within a kilometer radius could hear the beating of his heart, beating madly as if it had sworn to pierce his chest. He was sure even Jihoon, who was looking at him and smiling, could hear it.

He was terrified.

Wonwoo was spending money on him. Wonwoo was spending time on him. Wonwoo was spending energy for him. Wonwoo put effort into him.

Wonwoo cared about Mingyu, wanted him to be well, and tried to make him better. Mingyu hadn't gotten that kind of attention in years, not since he lost his parents. No one had ever felt the need to treat him as something more than he was. No one was willing to make the effort. He was a werewolf, the natural enemy of humans, and as an alpha he was the most dangerous creature alive. Sometimes even Mingyu himself believed he would be better off dead.

The only thing that had kept him alive all this time was the possibility that his little sister was alive. And now there was Wonwoo. The most beautiful man in the world who expected nothing from Mingyu except for him to survive. For the first time in his life of sin, Mingyu felt blessed instead of punished.

A customer settled into the chair Jihoon had left vacant, flinching back when he slipped his hands inside the collar of his shirt to get his attention. His body was used to these touches. This was his life. Yet a voice in his head kept screaming that he was dirty. The voice in question had appeared after meeting Wonwoo. And it was getting louder.

"Handsome," he muttered under his breath. He rolled his eyes and made it clear he didn't like Mingyu's retreat. "Come closer."

He should have leaned forward, allowed the touch, and acted the way he always acted, but tonight, something inside Mingyu had shifted. He didn't want to do it. He didn't want these touches, this humiliation.

When his hand quickly left his collar, he stood as stunned as the woman before him. Wonwoo looked furious as he appeared beside the man, pulling his hand back with a fiery glare. "Fuck off, I'm getting an accident on my hands." He didn't look like a normal Wonwoo as he snarled at the guy through his teeth. He looked like a more aggressive, more threatening version of him. Before Mingyu realized what had happened, he had already fled into the crowd.

The same Wonwoo turned back to him, his gaze now a straight line as the flames of fire in his gaze diminished. "'I just turn around for a minute...'" He sighed and shook his head.

"Wonwoo?" was all Mingyu could say when he managed to find his voice. He wanted to confirm the boy's existence. They hadn't seen each other for a week because Wonwoo hadn't been seen for a week.

Hearing his name, the boy's face broke into a tiny smile. "Mingyu," he responded in a kind smile, squinted eyes and slightly raised eyebrows. His smile widened. "You look great."

Mingyu felt all the blood in his body split in two, rushing to his lower body and face, and he instantly averted his eyes. Mingyu knew what he meant. Mingyu, who had always looked like a worn-out toy in the time they'd known each other, now looked healthy. But since this was Wonwoo, the word wonderful could mean either. Either way, Mingyu was so stunned he wanted to smash his head against the marble of the bar counter.

"You look the same as always," he finally managed to reply. This time it was Wonwoo's turn to look away. Mingyu had never told him directly that he looked great or that he was handsome. Instead, he would stare at him for minutes with his green eyes fixed on the boy's face, and he could say many things with that look that could not be said in any language.

"I'll wait upstairs." Wonwoo murmured in Mingyu's direction before walking past the bar and into the red hallway.

Mingyu merely nodded. He stared after him until the boy entered the hallway and disappeared from sight.

"Be careful," a voice said from the nape of his neck, and he turned his head to look at Seungcheol, who was drying the glasses with a cloth. His black eyes glittered with concern. "Mingyu... I can see it in your eyes, you're about to make a mistake."

Mistake. Mingyu had stopped seeing Wonwoo as a mistake a long time ago, when Wonwoo had run across the room trying to button his pants and refused to fuck with him. That day, even though Mingyu would never say it out loud, he wished he could see Wonwoo again. Once more. He'd been willing to do it just once, and God had given him more than he'd asked for.

"My whole life," he said through his teeth. "A mistake. Wonwoo is the only thing that isn't a mistake."

The quivering of Seungcheol's lips summed it all up, but Mingyu didn't want to stand here scripting the disasters that could happen. He wanted to go upstairs and hug Wonwoo, watch Star Wars, listen to the boy talk, even if he could never follow it. Then he would look down at his light brown streaks and maybe Wonwoo would reach up and kiss him.

"I'm off," he said as he stepped out from behind the bar and into the hallway. He'd never climbed these stairs with such excitement before. It was as if Wonwoo had revolutionized everything in his life.

Wonwoo was unloading his bag onto the bed when Mingyu opened the door to the room and walked in. "I brought you a few things," he started to explain as he heard the door open and close. His back was still to the door. "You may be mad, but believe me- Mingyu!"

Wonwoo was caught off guard when strong arms wrapped around his waist on either side and pulled him against the hard chest. He stood beside the bed, files in both hands, stiff from the heat radiating from Mingyu's arms. He blinked and swallowed. The arms around his waist tightened. Wonwoo just stood there and let it happen as Mingyu buried his face in the hollow of his neck.

As the silence stretched between them, Wonwoo finally asked in a joking tone, "To what do we call this show of affection?"

Mingyu took a deep breath and inhaled the boy's scent before releasing him and stepping back. "Nothing."

Ah, of course he was going to dodge the answer and avoid the subject as usual. He couldn't just walk up to Wonwoo and blurt out his feelings lightheartedly.

The boy knew him. So instead of pressing him, he smiled broadly and handed him the files. "I found Minseo."

Mingyu's green eyes fell on the files as the sound of his sister's name made every muscle in his body tighten one by one. "You did what?" he asked breathlessly as he stared at the papers dangling from Wonwoo's hand.

Wonwoo stepped backward, a little uneasily. "Minseo," he said again emphatically. "I found your sister."