~|3| The Letters From No One~

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EXT. NUMBER FOUR PRIVET DRIVE - MORNING

A single owl swoops down onto the Dursley's roof.

INT. KITCHEN - MORNING

Dudley parades about the kitchen in knickerbockers, tailcoats, and straw boaters, tapping the floor with a Knobby stick, while a teary Aunt Petunia snaps a photo with a flash camera.

AUNT PETUNIA: Oh, Vernon, look at him. To think in only a week he'll be off to Smeltings.

UNCLE VERNON: Proudest moment of my life.

Iris (with dread): Will I have to wear that too?

"That outfit is hideous." says Aphrodite with much disgust in her voice. Most of the other people that care about fashion.

"How much I would pay to see you in something like that." Jokes George while trying not to laugh but fails. Sally smacks on the back of his head. "Ow, that hurt." Says George.

"Well then don't say stupid shit like that again." answers Sally.

AUNT PETUNIA: You! Go to Smeltings? Don't be stupid. You'll go to a state school, where you belong. That there'll be yours, once I'm done dying it.

Iris glances at a tub of grey mud boiling on the stove.

"That looks even worse." Says Aphrodite.

Iris: But that's Dudley's old uniform. It'll fit me like bits of old elephant skin.

AUNT PETUNIA: Fit you fine enough. Now fetch the post.

INT. FRONT HALL - DAY

Three letters lie on the mat. A bill. A postcard. An envelope Of yellow parchment. Iris takes all, then stops, staring at Parchment.

the envelope, which is addressed in emerald ink.

Miss. I. Potter

The Cupboard Under The Stairs

4 Privet Drive

Little Whinging

Surrey

"They knew where you slept and didn't do anything about it!" Yells Poseidon. All of the other Greeks that cared about her were also wary about that.

"Before anyone gets mad they use a self-writing quill. But now we will start checking them." States Hermione. They all shake their heads but Poseidon still feels a bit angry about them possibly knowing that she slept in a cupboard.

Iris turns the envelope over and finds a purple wax seal. It is a coat of arms, surrounding a large letter H.

INT. KITCHEN - DAY

Iris drops the post on the table and sits, staring in quiet wonderment at her envelope. Uncle Vernon takes the postcard.

UNCLE VERNON: Marge's ill. Ate a funny whelk

BAM! Dudley brings the Smelting stick down hard on the table.

DUDLEY: Dad! Look! Iris's got a letter!

Quickly, Uncle Vernon snatches it away.

Iris: That's mine!

UNCLE VERNON: Yours. Who'd be writing to you

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