Pictures Of You

Ask

Liam gazed across at Noel as he sat cramped up in his single bed still writing furiously on the form Maggie had given him. He'd ran out of room actually and ended up writing in a notepad.

Liam lay on his belly looking at his older brother in a way that was equal parts jealousy and misunderstanding. He could never really fully get a read on Noel. It was like he had this forcefield barrier up at all times. Even with those closest to him. It was like they didn't really know him. Not really. He kept his cards close to his chest. He was his opposite really. Quiet and a deep thinker. Liam was more of a joker. Loud. Life and soul of the party. Noel was more clever with his humour...well, to those that he let in on the joke.

"What you staring at me for? Go play with your toys or something." Said Noel tersely.

Liam sighed. Noel had a right nasty streak. He'd poke and prod until Liam lashed out as he knew he always would. It's what they did to each other. Pushed each other's buttons till they were brawling. Liam remembered a time when it hadn't been that way when he'd been very little. Noel had taken care of him. Shown him kindness. Noel still saw him as a little kid and Liam wanted so desperately for Noel to see him as a grown up.

"You writing a fucking essay to get that job? Or to impress Maggie the Goth?" He asked with a teasing light in his eyes.

Noel for a moment was almost imperceptibly flustered. Why did he care so much? To impress some strange girl that worked in the record shop? Why was he really trying so hard? Honestly? He didn't know. And he rarely did things without thinking about each and every eventuality.

"What do I need to impress her for?"

Liam shrugged.

"No idea. I can never tell what's going on in that head of yours. But I mean fit birds are cool right? Have you got one? That where you dissappear to at night?"

Noel looked at him with a smile and shook his head.

"Bird obsessed you are. Nah. Most of the time I just go to Haçienda. You don't need to pay in and they got some good bands and tunes and that. Beer's always cheap because you don't need the drink when you've taken some E. Sometimes I'll get a bird. You'll like it when you're old enough."

Liam sighed.

"Can I ask you summat? And I mean it if you laugh-"

Noel looked at him evenly. It was rare for them to be so open with each other like this. He could see Liam looked serious. Perhaps even nervous.

"How do you know what love feels like...like with a bird?"

Noel's eyes widened. What a question. He put the paper down and exhaled slowly.

"Honestly? No fucking idea. Don't think I've ever been in love. Can't exactly look at mam and dad for advice on it either can we?"

Liam nodded.

"It's more than shagging though right? It needs to be." He said staring down at his pillow deep in thought.

Noel chucked lightly.

"Does it need to be more? Sounds to me like you're complaining about getting to shag fit birds at fifteen."

Liam shook his head.

"I'm not complaining. It's just I've never like been with a bird and thought about her in a way that went beyond fit. You know like in songs you hear and that."

Noel smiled sadly.

"Sorry to tell you r'kid but all those songs...they're made up. It ain't real."

Liam nodded and put his head down on his pillow.