• Calling on my angels
Heaven is watching from like 40 different angles, yeah
I know I should be grateful
Make conversation with the voices at the table,
Guess things are different to me
And if I talk, I know you'll listen to me, yeah
Haven't been d...
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Marcus stared himself in the mirror. Mostly at the scars as he traces them with his eyes. There were some on his chest, stomach, back, and upper arms. They were all quite noticeable, yet all different sizes and shapes. And some were even x's. No one actually knew about them, other than Marcus himself. He had always covered them up with long sleeves and never once took off his shirt. No matter what. He was more than ashamed of them. He felt disgusted as he remembered how he got them exactly.
I am not thinking about this shit anymore, he thought to himself
Marcus swallowed a lump in his throat as he forced himself to look away from them. He refused to even think about it, let alone talk about it. He had always wished to be able to erase what happened, but he would always be reminded. The scars on his body and mind will never go away. No matter how much he wanted them too. And acted like it had never happened.
A sigh escaped his lips. He was currently supposed to be getting ready for the first day of his new school. This was the last thing he wanted. But it wasn't like he had a choice of going or not. He absolutely hated the idea of being the new kid. Although he could just easily skip, but he knew his aunt would kill him if she ever found out. So that clearly wasn't an option for him.
Marcus got ahold of a black long-sleeve shirt that sat at the end of the bed. He pulled it over his head and slipped his arms through. Slightly wincing well doing so. After he quickly did the same with a dark gray t-shirt. He fixed both of the shirts at the bottom. He already had his pants and sneakers on. Which were gray-colored pants and vans. It was a simple outfit since he doesn't care. He just wanted to make sure he was covered.
Marcus turned away from the mirror and made his way towards the nightstand. It was very much not the cleanest, yet wasn't entirely the messiest. Random things are just scattered across it. Since he hasn't cleaned his room, in god knows how long. But he managed to grab the things he needed. His apartment keys, wallet, and his phone. He shoved them into his pockets.
He glanced over at his bed for a split second. A black square-shaped object grabbed his attention. It was his journal. He almost immediately grabbed it and opened the nightstand drawer. Placing it inside, he closed the drawer. Before he calmly walked away. Marcus didn't want anyone to accidentally come across his journal. He has many things written in there that he wants to stay private. More like need to.
Marcus stopped in front of his bedroom door and bent over to grab his backpack. It was placed next to the door. He threw one of the straps over his shoulder, wincing quietly. As his body was in pain, he dismissed it. Opening the door, Marcus turned off the light. He made his way down the hallway, toward the kitchen. The apartment was small, so it didn't take far.
He immediately noticed his aunt, Elizabeth standing in front of the kitchen counter, packing her lunch bag. She had her scrubs on, she works as a nurse down at the hospital. The hospitals here in LA don't pay that well. That was one of the reasons she has been picking up extra shifts. She's been having trouble with paying the bills and Marcus knows this. He felt horrible that he wasn't helping.
So he wanted to pick up a job. Yet, Elizabeth won't let him. He understood why. She wanted him to focus on himself. On getting better. She was scared that he would relapse again. Or he would go back to doing the things that he used to do that made him end up in juvie in the first place. Marcus wasn't proud. Especially since he knew all the emotional damage he put his aunt through.
He had disappointed her. That was one of the reasons why Marcus hasn't and never will tell her everything else that happened. I would break her heart and he couldn't do that to her. Not again.
"¿A qué hora estarás en casa?" Marcus found himself asking as he walked past her and leaned against the Island table.
She turned and gave him a look. A look he knew. She was working a double shift. "Regresaré antes de la mañana. Hay comida en el frigorífico o puedes cocinar algo tú mismo," Elizabeth said as if it was nothing
Marcus looked at her confused "Trabajaste doble turno ayer y anteayer. Es demasiado para ti. Necesitas un descanso. I can find a job"
She shook her head softly "No, hijo-."
"But Tia, it's too much for y-.."
"Puedo cuidarme solo, Marcus. Soy una mujer adulta. y necesito que te concentres en ti mismo." she moved closer and pointed to my face for a second. "You can't keep getting into fights like this. You could end up on the same road as before"
Marcus frowned, mostly at the thought "I'm not going to down that road again, I swear. What happened last week was a one-time thing. And plus me having a job isn't going to undo all the progress I've made. I just want to be able to help you with the bills"
"One-time thing? I've heard that before Marcus." He looked down ashamed and bit the inside of his cheek.
She means when she found out about everything, almost everything. Marcus never once wanted to make his aunt's life difficult.
Elizabeth's soft voice spoke again, this caused Marcus to look at her "However I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt. If you want to find a job, then go at it. But please cariño, don't do anything stupid."
Marcus crossed his arms "Yeah, because I'm going to buy more drugs with the money" He joked lightly with sass tracing his tone
Elizabeth gave him a look. Marcus often jokes about his trauma as a coping mechanism. Almost to mask the pain and act like everything he went through was nothing.
"Too soon?" She gave him a simple nod. He cleared his throat "Sorry."
Marcus watched as his aunt let out a soft sigh and then made a slight gesture towards the door. "You got to go, cariño. It's getting late and I don't want you to miss the bus."
He pushed himself off against the counter. Mentally leading a strand of curse words, at the sudden pain he felt. He knew today was going to be a long day and he despised it.
Elizabeth gently placed on his left shoulder "Pero por favor hijo, no peleas. Y no te metas en problemas."
Marcus knew that he couldn't promise anything. It seemed that trouble followed him everywhere but for the sake of his aunt. The only family member he has, he had no choice but to.
"I promise, I'll stay out of trouble, Tia"
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A/N: I don't like this at all... Anyways May will be in the next chapter!
