Ella and Wilson

17

Ella

Months had gone by without a single word from Wilson. I had a couple missed calls from him the day I left Florida but nothing else after that. I couldn't bring myself to call him back, like a coward. Maybe it was better to have a clean break like this. He probably was calling to tell me that we were done and he couldn't be with me. 

I was wrapping up in Boston filming for the new period piece movie. It was hard to want to do anything knowing that I ruined the best relationship I had ever had. I was starting to turn into a recluse, barely wanting to go out and socialize. 

My friends were concerned about me but were starting to give up on getting me to do things with them. Being in public was too difficult unless I was obligated to be there, then I showed up as not to ruin my reputation. I posed for photographs with other celebrities out and about keeping myself in the media just enough so that I didn't fade away into oblivion. 

Elliot and Amelia were my only friends who were consistently showing up trying to help me. Elliot had started taking me to his therapist, which was helping, but it was making me miss Wilson more and more each day. Any time I wrote in my journal, it was always about him and our memories. I wanted to talk to him so badly but you can't make someone like you.

"I know that you don't even want to think about this but since the movie comes out in December, you could win the Oscar for it next year. Because of the potential of this, you were invited to announce a category at the Oscars this year. The Oscars are in a month and we need to start thinking about what you'll be wearing." Amelia sat in an arm chair to the left of my bed. She had her planner open and was checking dates and times for us to meet with designers to get the dress going for the red carpet. 

"Okay." I was still in bed. It was noon on one of my days off from filming. We were only one scene away from finishing filming. It was a big scene that was left, where I reunited with the love of my life in the movie. I was dreading filming this scene because of the real heartbreak I was feeling.

"Let's go for a walk. It, for once, is somewhat warm out." Amelia stood up and pushed her black glasses onto the top of her head. She walked over and pulled aside the curtains on the window before looking out the windows of the penthouse we were staying in in the heart of Boston. Light poured causing me to flinch and roll away from the light. "Walking is so good for you." Amelia added.

"I guess." I reluctantly got out of bed, pulled on a pair of sweatpants and a baggy sweater. We both pulled on our coats and went for a walk around the city. The air was crisp and cold. I pulled my coat tighter wishing that I was back in Florida with the warm, humid weather. The remnants of a snow we had a few days ago was still present in areas of the street that didn't get a lot of sun. Gray salt lined the edges of the sidewalk and crunched under our boots as we walked. People were so used to seeing me out and about now because of filming that the only people that approached me for pictures or autographs were tourists to the city. Despite my inner despair, I never turned away any fan that approached me. 

We walked around before taking a seat on a bench by the Boston Public Library. The bench was in the sun and it felt good to feel the warm rays hitting my face. I took a deep breath finding a sense of calm with being outside. Amelia reached over and grabbed my hand with her gloved one. I flipped my hand over so our fingers became intertwined. 

"I love you. You are strong. He loves you too and I know that you two will see each other again, even if it doesn't feel like that now." 

"I don't want to talk about him." I said quietly. Amelia nodded and we went back to silently watching people.

The next day was the big final day of filming. I was squished into my corset and put into a simple dress modeled from the late 1800's. My curly hair was carefully pinned in an intricate hairstyle typical of this timeframe. I was led out to this beautiful field in a town about an hour away from Boston. Fake fog was being pumped across the grass to create a more mystical, whimsical feel. My breath was visible in the early morning light. Goosebumps covered my whole body as I stood next to the cameraman waiting for filming to begin. To keep warm, I started walking in place quietly.