Ella and Wilson

18

Ella

"We are here!" Amelia squealed. She was way more excited for this than I was, and I was pretty excited for once since leaving Florida. The car door was opened for us and Amelia hopped out first. She held out her hand for me and I got out of the car. There were so many cheers, everyone was calling my name, and the flash from all the cameras was blinding. Amelia fluffed the skirt of the dress and fixed my hair so that it cascaded down my back. I had crazy extensions in and had my hair straight for once. I felt beautiful but also felt that I wasn't myself.

I walked up the red carpet slowly giving warm smiles and waves to my fans and to the paparazzi. I stopped when told and posed for pictures. My smile was broad and for once genuine. Even though other aspects of my life felt depressing, I was happy to be here. I remember watching the Oscars every year with my parents fantasizing about what it would be like to be here and now here I was.

After posing for pictures, I was escorted up some steps to be interviewed by the ABC hosts of the Oscars. They were the beginning of many interviews that were to take place along the carpet.

"Ella Murdoc, it's so nice to see you."

"Thank you so much for having me. This," I gestured to the red carpet behind us, "is all so surreal. It's always been a dream of mine to be here."

"How does it feel to be announcing the category for Best Leading Actress?"

"Oh, amazing. I just hope that next year, my name is in the running." I smiled. They asked a few more questions regarding the movie and other projects I was involved in. Then the conversation turned to fashion, as usual.

"Who are you wearing?"

The interviews continued all down the red carpet. By the time I made it to the theater, I was parched. Amelia went and got me a glass of water and champagne. I sucked down the champagne before taking a few sips of the water. Amelia and I socialized with other stars. Elliot was present and we talked for a good bit. He introduced me to his date, who looked at him like he was the sun in her universe. He looked at her the same and I knew that she was special to him. Elliot is a notorious bachelor and rarely feels any sort of connection to women but I had seen her in the background of a lot of his Facetimes lately and knew that this was different.

"You look absolutely stunning." Elliot said to me as we lounged by the bar. The bartender handed us more champagne and we rejoined Amelia and his date. 

"And you look very handsome, for once." I joked. We sipped our champagne. We caught up on all things that had been happening in our lives. I told him how much I liked the therapist he introduced me to and how she was giving me support and courage to reach out to Wilson and talk to him about everything. It wasn't right leaving it the way we did, so unresolved. It's probably why I can't move forward with my life like I want to. I told him that I was going to reach out to Wilson after all this stress with the Oscars was over. The thought of hearing his voice sent chills down my spine, as did the anxiety, but this was something that needed to be done. I hoped with every fiber of my being that he could forgive me and that we could have some type of relationship, even if it wasn't a romantic one. I just need him in my life.

Amelia filled all of us in on Vitorro and how he bought some land in Napa Valley and was planning on expanding his family's wine business there. Amelia was beyond excited for the fact that we could get as much free wine there as we wanted. Elliot and I both rolled our eyes at this because of course that is what she would be excited about. We chatted more about scheduling a trip up there once the vineyard was up and running before the lights flickered announcing that it was time for us all to make it to our seats.

"Good luck." Elliot kissed me on the cheek before putting his hand on his date's lower back. They headed off to their seats. He was seated on the left side of the theater in the third row. He was in the running for Best Supporting Actor again for a movie he did last year. I was seated in the 8th row from the front at the end of the aisle. I was on the opposite end of the theater and could only just make out Elliot and his date across the way. Amelia sat next to me on the aisle. She seemed really jittery, which she always is but the way she was acting was extra jittery. It was like she couldn't sit still. I tried to ignore her behavior because her nerves were starting to make me nervous. She explained that the crew would come get me when it was time for me to announce my category and how she was going to take so many pictures of me announcing the category.