Charli Grace d'amelio
Saturday, 30 December 2024.
today Landon and I broke up, two days before 2025, he bought the subject, like I wasn't paying enough attention to him, I always knew he was unsecured and I always tried my best to make him feel confident, I always put him first, but sometimes I got tired, I was unsecured too, he knew it but he never tried to make me feel good like I always did with him, I had to work on myself when I was putting all of my attention on him, it was a one way support, I liked him but not at the point to let my happiness after him, I needed someone to support me too, and it wasn't the case with him.
Sunday, 6 January 2025.
today I was hanging out with madi and avani, I hadn't hanged out with them since a long time, since when I got with Landon I moved away from my real friends, I started hanging out with madi and avani again a few days ago, and gosh it felt like home again. And as we were gossiping I at the café this afternoon I learned that chase ended things with his recent girlfriend. I don't know the reason because I didn't asked more questions on the subject. When I heard his name again it felt weird, I haven't heard anything from him since start 2023, yes I sometimes I wondered what he became, I sometimes found myself thinking about the old time, when everything was great, I had my friends, and I had him, I was myself at this time, but since summer 2022 I was not the same person, and not someone I liked, so that's why I'm trying now to be myself again. It happened that I found old stuff that belonged to him, or to us, like some hoodies I tossed in the back of my closet, our gucci promise ring hidden in my jewelry, a necklace he gave me, tones of things I never had the strength to throw away.
Monday, 29 January 2025
Today I went to noah beck's party, it was a party with lots of people like always, I was accompanied of my sister and avani and madi of course, I couldn't go anywhere without them now, Dixie escaped from us in the middle of the night and I found out later that night that she was hanging out with Noah and some other persons close to the pool, I decided to join them with avani since madi left earlier because she had a meeting the next day, as we were hanging out I noticed my sister smiling more than usually, probably because of Noah, she never told me but I know for sure they still have a thing for each other.
We were around 2am still hanging out at the pool, I was having lots of fun with my friends, I catches up with everyone because it's been so long since I last saw them, I had not a worries in the world until Noah got up and greeted someone, when he came back with this person my blood frozen, I saw those blue eyes I never thought I would see again.
Chase Hudson my ex boyfriend before Landon, my first love, a teenage love that wasn't supposed to last, right? His blue ocean eyes always made me shivers when we were still together, but even now when he greeted everyone and he finally looked at me and our eyes locked I felt chills on my arms, he didn't came to greet me obviously, he just did a sign with his head with a little smile and I awkwardly smiled back.
The night went on and I continued to talk with people, but I was not as comfortable as before, even though I didn't pay attention to him and he didn't pay attention to me neither, his presence was still disturbing to me.
Thursday, 15 February 2025
dear diary you probably remember Noah's party where I saw chase again after 2 years, yes because I wrote a whole page about it, I haven't seen him again after this party, avani asked me how I was feeling about it after the party but I just replied that I didn't really care, which was a lie obviously. But tonight Noah is hosting another party where chase will probably be, not that is matters obviously but I had to go since first all of my friends where gonna be here and second Dixie got closer with Noah and want to spend more and more time with him, I'm happy for them, I always knew they would found each other again.
This night I hanged out with my friends at the pool again, it was a great spot I liked the vibe here. chase was present, he arrived late again at like 1am this time, and you wouldn't know what, we talked this night.
