Distressed Homer Simpson x Depressed reader

Part 2 - You enter

You are a depressed reader who recently got kicked out of your parents house for being too cool so you decided to move to Springfield, as soon as you arrived you heard the iconic angelic voices singing the iconic jingle "The Simpsons" it's said in the sky.
When you arrived you saw a sad boy with blue hair for this child was Milhouse. "Why are sad?" You asked the small child, "My friend Bart Simpson of the Simpson clan is dead" he responded. "Tough doodie small child, I've had a far worse life than you, my dad beat me everyday with a copy of the Bee movie game for Wii, my mommy forced me to watch Jack and Jill starring Adam Sandler, and my Grampa made drink coke, also my dog died, I have rabies, scabies, ingrown toenails, menopause, scoliosis, mitosis, bronchitis, and worst of all my nose is kinda stuffy right now" You retorted, "Oh wow I'm sorry to hear that" said him. You soon arrived at the Kwik e Mart where your life would change forever.