The Friend of My Friend is My Enemy is My Brother

YA MOM'S A HOE!

𝙰/𝙽 : 𝙴𝚗𝚓𝚘𝚢𝚢𝚢𝚢
Unquoted Italics : Alex speaking to Venom in her head
"Double Quoted Italics" : Speaking
'Singular Quoted Italics' : Thoughts
Regular Bold : Venom
(Also POV changes & time skips)
Bold + Italics : Speakers,Tech, and/or music lyrics

Narrator POV
10:30PM

In Queens,New York a figure in a black suit was hanging upside down from a light pole. It was Venom,one of the local vigilantes. Or in the words of Venom "the motherfucking god!" Venom was currently on their nightly patrol of Queens. Venom and Spidey split up the patrols of New York.Spidey takes Manhattan and the Bronx while Venom takes Queens and Brooklyn.

Venom ,aka Alex Parker, took out a snickers bar and threw it in the air. A slimy black head came out of her shoulder ate it.

The best chocolate of all time

Err,wrong.It's Kit Kats

"Alright Ava,where to next?" Alex said into the coms system.

Ava Lakefield, Alex's roommate and 'girl in the chair'. Ava and Alex met in college when they found out they were both dating the same girl. They both dumped her and became friends(or partners in crime as they say).

-We've got a bank robbery in progress 3 blocks from your location-

Venom begins swinging towards the direction of the robbery.

"Are the cops in route?"

-Nope.Silent alarm was pressed but the power to the security system was cut-

"See if you can get the security back up and let the police station know the situation"

-Roger that-

In little to no time at all Venom arrived at the bank.There was too many people at the front door so they went through the vents.Stealth was the way to go for this mission,going in loud put the civilians at risk.

~Through the vents, through the vents. We are crawling through the vents. Gonna smash heads and eat some heads. Make sure all the motherfuckers are dead. Watch out, we're crawling through the vents~

Dude,seriously

Alex tried her best not to laugh as. Venom continued to sing in her head.Also reminding him that they're not gonna kill anyone. Which he argued was boring but that's too bad.

The two finally made it to a vent above the main bank area.The hostages were tucked in a corner of the room. There was one guy with a gun and the back door was open. Alex assumed there was more people robbing the large safe. She removed the vent in front of her.

Alright V. Best takedown method?

Splash

Splash?

USO Splash

Bet

Alex readies herself in the vent,waiting for the guy to move under the vent. As soon as he does she jumps out of the vent and practically body slams on him. Before he could get up Alex knocked him out with a swift uppercut.

Alex walks over to the hostages and cut the rope that they were all tied up with.

"Are you all okay?" She asked.

They all nodded and choked out strangled thank yous. After making sure nobody was injured,she sneakily made her way to the back of the bank. There were three more dudes in ski masks stealing money.

"Oi, dumbasses!" The moment she yelled that,all three turned towards her and started shooting.

But yeah that didn't fucking work, obviously. Alex made a Venom shield to block the bullet. She shot tendrils at all three and knocked them down.

"Welcome to WWE Motherfuckers!" Alex yelled.

Alex shifted her attention to guy number one who was leaning against a money rack and spears him through. "One"

Guy number two was back on his feet and sprinting towards only to be picked up by his shirt and Tejana bombed onto a metal crate. "Two"

Alex noticed there was a teen recording at the door and he pointed towards the last guy who was on his knees but getting back up. The teen boy mouthed out the word 'Stomp' and Alex nodded with an unseen smirk on her face.

Let's Stomp this fucker all the way to the hospital!

Alex reved herself up.She instantly ran towards the third guy and jumped. Bringing her foot down on his head, stomping it into the tiled ground. "Three!"

With all the thieves down Alex turned to the teen boy and gave him a fist bump. She proceeded to tie up thieves in their own ropes and drag them into the main area. Where the police had finally arrived and were talking to the hostages.

A/N : Im really just tryna get through this chapter 🥲
So 45 Minute Time Skip

After dealing with the bank robbery Venom and Alex were now chilling on rooftop. Eating their normal order of tater tots and loaded fries in well deserved peace. It was a short peace,as both Alex and Venom felt a sensation.

You feel that V?

Yup...I always feel like..Somebody's WATCHING ME

Dude...really

DUCK!

Venom forced Alex's whole body to duck down as something whooshed over her head. Alex turned,only to immediately catch a tranq dart that was an inch away from imbedding itself into her shoulder. Venom masked up her face for safe measures and the two looked around. Despite the fact that they didn't see anyone,they knew where they were. So, like the reasonable adult she is, Alex decided to give a civil statement.

"Whoever shot those, YA MOM'S A HOE!"

Alex yelled before grabbing her food and swiftly leaving.

To Be Continued Fuckers

𝙰/𝙽 : 𝙸 𝚑𝚊𝚍 𝚗𝚘 𝚒𝚍𝚎𝚊 𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚝𝚘 𝚍𝚘 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛. 𝙸 𝚕𝚒𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚝𝚢𝚙𝚎𝚍 𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝚛𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚘𝚖𝚗𝚎𝚜𝚜 𝚙𝚘𝚙𝚙𝚎𝚍 𝚞𝚙 𝚒𝚗 𝚖𝚢𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚍