Hard Launch
"I just don't get why he doesn't want to post me. Is he embarrassed?" I questioned, scrolling through my instagram feed.
Ellie scoffed. "Of course he's not embarrassed. He'd be an idiot if that was the case," my friend reassured me.
"Then why doesn't he want to? We've been together for almost 6 months now." I crossed one leg over the other, shuffling and trying not fidget too much.
"You haven't posted him either, Y/N," Ellie pointed out, shrugging her shoulders.
"He literally told me not to," I replied. Ellie threw a wary glance my way.
"What did he say again?"
"He said it's not the right time...but he always says that!" I sighed and let my head fall into my hands.
"You gotta bring it up again, dude. You gotta just be forward about it," Ellie suggested. I lifted my head and gave a weak smile in reply.
When I started dating Charles Leclerc, I didn't imagine that 6 months later, I'd be stressing about him refusing to post a picture of us together on instagram. There are much bigger problems in the world. But it makes me feel insecure. What can I say?
"Hi baby," Charles' voice sounded through the apartment. I had been waiting for him to come back from his gym session but it had been an unproductive afternoon since Ellie left. I was slumped lazily on the sofa, a random film on the TV, a packet of biscuits on the table in front of me.
"Hey," I replied, not moving my eyes from the screen.
He entered the living room and practically jumped onto the sofa next to me.
"I missed you," he leant in and planted a soft kiss on my temple. I smiled and melted into his arms.
"How was the session?" I asked, trying to snuggle closer to him. He smelt really good.
"Tiring, but nice to be back after the break."
"Mhmm."
As a comfortable silence filled the room, I thought about how to approach the instagram problem. I didn't want to come across as attention seeking. It wasn't like I just needed the world to know I was Charles Leclerc's girlfriend. It would however be nice to post cute pictures of my boyfriend freely.
"Charlie...I need to ask you something," my voice was soft and low. He tightened his grip slightly.
"What's up, baby?" I could've just stopped there because his voice was so sweet and tender and I didn't want to start an argument. "Baby?" he repeated. Then I realised I'd been silent for a while, trying to find the right words. I could feel his eyes searching for mine as his body twisted from his position sitting next to me.
"Why won't you post me on instagram?" Ah. Well. There it was.
"What?" he asked, a bit of shock in his voice.
"Well, whenever I ask, you say it's not the right time, but we took so many cute pictures over Christmas and Valentines is next month...and our 6 month anniversary is coming. It would just be nice, wouldn't it?" I asked, consciously refusing to turn my head to face his. Worried he'll be annoyed. Or he'll think I'm desperate.
"Baby...we will. Just not yet," he finished his response with another kiss to the forehead.
We sat for a while, marinating in the silence. But I couldn't take that as the final answer.
"You don't want to post me, do you? You're worried of what people will think, aren't you?" I couldn't help the sadness that came seeping from my voice.
"You really think that?" he asked, now moving forward on the sofa so he could force eye contact.
"I don't know, I don't really understand, but you never give me a proper answer."
"Baby. I don't want to post us yet because I'm trying to protect you," he declared.
"Protect me from what?" I asked.
"You remember when there were rumours of us dating a couple months back? And you saw those tik toks about it? With those negative comments?" he said, leaning closer to me now.
"Yeah..."
"Well if I post you, there's a chance you'll get more messages like that. A lot more."
I thought on his words for a moment.
"I can handle it," I said very unconvincingly.
"I want to make sure you understand what could happen. And of course, I am sure there will be lots of supportive messages. But I don't want you to see anything bad," he leant in for a third kiss.
"Charles, I understand perfectly. But I don't care. I'm ready to do it. I'm proud of our relationship."
He smiled his beautiful smile, his dimples appearing. "If you're sure..." he trailed off. I nodded and he pulled me into his lap.
I spent the next 10 minutes carefully selecting the perfect pictures. One from Christmas Day, where Charles is holding me from behind and we're pulling silly faces in the mirror, one of us and our friends at a restaurant during the break and one of us at a party on New Years.
"What should I caption it?" I asked Charles.
"Hard launch," he replied quickly, making me laugh instantly. I shushed him and wrote my own.
'Going into 2024 with you🤍'
I pressed post.
"I love you," Charles whispered into my neck, then immediately placed a kiss where he left his words.
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I wrote this in January so I do apologise for the Christmas references 😂
Please let me know if you have any suggestions, themes or particular drivers you want me to write about!!
Thank you for reading :)
