Maybe a marauder

Chapter one: the letter?

I've been sitting at this door for 18,720 seconds. I know because I have been counting every single one. The ticking sound in the room is starting to drive me crazy. My eyes blink with every few clicks. I feel like the whole world is spinning. I feel like I'm hyperventilating but my breaths are slow and shallow. My thoughts just keep repeating and are in the with the tempo, saying
I'm not getting a letter
I'm not getting a letter
I'm not getting a letter
I'm not getting a letter
I'm not getting a letter
I'm not gettin-

"Camille, repeating that isn't going to help"
I wasn't aware I was speaking aloud

"I know Remus, I just am scared. After what I did last year. Why do you always get away with pranks and I almost get expelled!"

"Cam, you just got suspended for the rest of the year. It was only 3 months. And it wasn't just a prank. You realize that, right?! I'm trying to protect my little sister but you are making it really hard for me! People got hurt, you hurt my best friends and me. Have you ever thought that maybe you don't deserve to get that letter?"

"I know! I know." That's what I'm supposed to say to him. He still doesn't know why I pulled that 'prank' as they call it. I almost got people killed. I almost got James killed actually. All because this older guy, Snape, is a bitch. James has always hated him and he was saying bad things about by brother. I did something stupid. I don't know if I regret it, but I do because I hurt James. Remus and only kinda forgave me. I'm not totally sure why I did it. No one really does. And no one will never know, Dumbledore made sure of that. Maybe if it worked out they would've. They would've cheered my name, I'd be one of the marauders. Maybe be recognized by people. But maybe I should just tone the pranks down. I will have to tone it down if they let me back in. If they let me in. Oh crap my letter.
I'm not getting a letter
I'm not getting a letter
I'm not getting a letter
I'm not getting a letter
I'm not getting a letter
My brain isn't thinking about the letter anymore. I'm thinking about the prank. I'm thinking about how James looked after they pulled him out from under the tree. How Snape was also screaming. Peter and Sirius trying to push past all the teachers to help. James was screaming with tears down his face and blood on his arms, I didn't even think he was able to cry, but there he was, yelling for his mom. Yelling for Effie. We made eye contact for a second. I thought his eyes would be filled with of hate when he saw me. But they weren't, they looked even sadder than his tears. He looked disappointed. Disappointed in me. A tear drop woke me up from my memories. Something I wish I could just forget.

I stand up and go fix my hair and wipe my tears in the mirror. I have to stand as tall as I can to even see my reflection and it's not even worth it. I've always been told I'm pretty with my brown hair and blue eyes. Freckles that I would rather just cover with makeup. And stupid glasses because I ran out of contacts. I look like one of those girls in Disney channel shows that once she puts her hair down and takes her glasses off she is pretty. But I'm not the kind of pretty that makes James notice me.

Even before the prank. He cares too much about lily. Lilly is beautiful. Her red hair is long and when the light hits it correctly it's just beautiful. She says that I'm like her younger sister she wish she had. I wish I was her. I wish James liked me like that. If only lilly liked Remus. Then I could have him. Remus has never said anything but I can tell he's in love with Lilly. He never talks about or to other girls and they call all the time. The only other people he talks to are the boys. James, as I've stated who is the hottest, cutest boy ever with curly hair, big glasses, and dark skin. Peter, with short blond hair and a boring face, who I've never been fond of. And Sirius, who is Remus's best friend. He snuck over a few time this summer when mom and dad were gone, but I think that's because he isn't supposed to be with half-bloods like us. At least that's what his brother, Regulus, says. Me and Reg have been close for a while. You don't notice how close we are on the outside because we keep our friendship a secret. I think it's better that way.

I mean I hang out with his friend group. Even though I'm a Gryffindor, I would rather hang out with the Slytherins. We are supposed to hate eachother but I wish they could see how alike they are. I'm going to miss them if I don't get my letter. I'm going to miss it all. Maybe that prank was too stupid after all. Maybe it wasn't worth it.
I love my home, but that was because I have Remus. Now I don't even really have him. If I don't get this letter I will be alone. For good. I can't apologize to everyone and try to fix relationships. Everything won't have time to get better. With the thought of my letter I go and sick back down in front of the door.

"Remus when are we leaving this year?" I ask him and he put down his book annoyed. Every summer we go to James's house and everyone shows up. It's not a party, but it might as well be. It's the only time where I get to hang out with the older kids and feel like I belong. The potters are rich. Mom says not to say that, but it's true. Their house is huge and they spend so much on us when we go up each year. Sometimes we go to the  World Cup, but not this year.

"Cam, you know the deal. There might not be a 'we' this year"
This year we are going up late. The deal I made with my parents was if I get my letter I can go up to the potters. Because if this Remus is going up later that he usually does because he is waiting for me. It's kind of a lose lose situation. If I don't get my letter then I don't go to Hogwarts or the potters and I don't get to try to apologize to everyone. If I do get my letter then Remus and me went up late for nothing. And he has the right to be mad at me. I would rather have the 2nd option. I want to get close to everyone again. I don't know if they all hate me, but I know the potters at least don't. I was still invited this year and it's been a while. Remus has even forgiven me a little bit.

I'm in 5th year now. That's If they let me back into the school. Remus says not to worry but I most def-

"Cam." 
2 letters fly through our mailbox into the floor.
2 letters
Two letters!
My eyes shoot to the names as Remus picks them up. My mind goes through every thing that could happen, I mean it still could be a letter saying I'm suspended for good. Half of me doesn't want to open it and wants to stay in this moment. I'm too scared to know, but I'm also too scared not to know. I grab the paper from his hand and tear it open. My eyes won't focus on the words. I refocus my eyes, the list of supplies.

"Cam, your face is scaring me. Camille!"
I look up at him with tears in my eyes
It's all okay
I'm going to the potters
I can fix things with everyone
I can go back to my friends
Everything is going to be okay
"I'm going to Hogwarts again."