The Crackheads PT 2 Incorrect Quotes

🐲XXXVII🐲

Out of context quotes from Artie and I's DMs about how we see our FORCED future DND campaign going as us ofc

I am the DM

Artie:I set fire to the tavern

Me:They're offering you shelter—

Artie:I SET FIRE TO THE TAVERN

Me:ITS FREE SHELTER

Artie:I DONT CARE BURN IT DOWN

Jules:Can I roll to seduce the tavern owner before we do?

Me:A giant red drag-

Koda:I'm fucking the dragon

Me:What?

Koda:Astraea. I'm fucking the dragon

Jules, mocking him:I am Donkey from Shrek and I am fucking the dragon

Me:That's not how this works?? You're supposed to have an epic boss battle right now

Koda:I do not care I am rolling for seduction 

Koda:NAT 20 BITCHES

Char:Don't you have like +5 on Charisma

Koda:OH SHIT THAT MEANS 25 FUCKERS!! YOU ARE WELCOME

Me:The dragon has a pegging kink. You're getting fucked now 

Once there is more, which I'm sure there will be I'll pop out another chapter

Also people to quotes were assigned by me