קгєץ 🕷 [ⲛⲁⲅⳙⲏⳕⲛⲁ]

Naruto The Nice Guy

Chapter Twelve

Naruto The Nice Guy

༒༻𝕹𝖆𝖗𝖚𝖙𝖔༺༒

March 24, 2012

It was twelve o' four in the afternoon, and Naruto was four chapters deep in his book.

Having spent the better part of his morning on the treadmill and making phone calls, Naruto retreated to his office to finish his workout entertaining the book Sasuke had given him, though, if Sasuke could see how he was using the book, Naruto had no doubt he'd be in for an earful of level ten Sasuke nagging.

His office was a mixture of sharp edged, Jacobean hardwood furniture, and random splotches of dark orange accents courtesy of the tabletop lamps, abstract paintings and soft furred rung. A few easy access 'work tools' were propped up as decorations along his bookshelves in the form of heavy blunt statues, ornate looking books with secret compartments and tapered innocuous sculptures. More deadly decorative items were hung up on the charcoal-blue walls, artistically carved swords and knives, two mounted guns full loaded, though his accent wall, the one directly behind him that showcased a splash of deep Sanguinello orange that looked more like blood splatter when the sun went down, was left bare of decoration.

Settled behind his desk, absentmindedly working his left bicep with a fifty pound dumbbell, bullshit self help book clutched in his right hand, Naruto read silently through the newest passage.

Or more specifically, a whole lot of brain rot that was about to get the pen.

He'd made it farther into the book than he thought he would.

Wasn't like any of the information was all that enlightening, helpful or interesting, but the book itself held a lot of entertainment value for him. These corny chapter titles, unrealistic bullet point suggestions and beta male explanations were bringing out the teacher in him he hadn't known existed. Maybe he should write his own damn book on how to get a woman in ways that would actually work, hell, he could probably teach a whole goddamn class if this was what was passing for dating advice now days.

He'd been pickin up bitches since he was fourteen, that kind of track record spoke for itself.

He was a real expert in the field.

In contrast, this book had to have been written for a full on novice or an absolute idiot.

The contents of chapter one were so mind-numbingly obvious he'd almost closed the book the moment he read the title.

Practice Good Hygiene; because women don't wanna be anywhere near an onion-pits smelling, filthy faced, unwashed yuck mouth animal (his edit, not the book's). If a fully functioning adult couldn't reason that shit out without this book laying it out for them, they had bigger fucking problems than not knowing how to attract a woman.

Suffice to say, Naruto wasn't a fuckin animal.

Sure, he wasn't some spa-going pretty boy that soaked with bath balms and got his nails done at the salon, but he wiped his ass good, scrubbed himself down with soap in the shower and brushed his teeth everyday.

Bare minimum shit, but it'd been working for him since he was a snot nosed brat.

Now, pushing thirty, Naruto wasn't changing shit.

Ain't broke, don't fix it.

Chapter two was another single braincell topic.

Another pointless chapter that shouldn't have made it in the final product.