Mend Me

Thirty-Four

"I care for you more than you will ever know." Severus whispers against the top of her head as he pulls her tighter into his arms.

His warm, strong arms release her, leaving her chilled as the late spring breeze drift into the room from the still opened door. The sun had recently set in the sky, the day drawing to an end. Her heart skips a beat, something is wrong. Severus grips his left arm tightly as he quickens his pace down the stone stairs leading to the Headmaster's Office. Danu tries to keep up with him, she calls to him to wait for her, but he ignores her as he rounds the corner and disappears into the office. As she steps through the threshold, Severus closes the main door behind him. She was too late.

Danu freezes a moment, mouth slightly open in confusion. He had made love to her, held her in his arms afterwards, and then fled. Severus left frequently, was called upon at the drop of a hat, and yet, this time was different.

"He has left something for you." Phineas Black's voice cuts through the silence, she lifts her head and looks towards his portrait where he now stood close to the frame craning his neck slightly as if to try and see what it was Severus had left.

"What?" Danu asks, looking around the room for what Phineas was referring to.

"Don't ask me. I only saw him retrieving some memories and stacking bits of things there on the desk." Phineas gestures with his chin towards the claw-foot desk standing proudly mere feet from where she stood.

Danu makes her way towards the desk, her eyes fluttering from her great-great-great-grandfathers familiar face, and the pile of papers and random objects on the desk. Her hand reaches for the small vial on the desk, its contents silvery-blue and swirling around the bottom as if it were fog. It was not liquid, not quite gas, but was hypnotic as she watches the mysterious substance coil and ripple before prying her eyes from it and picking up a letter addressed to her.

Mrs. Snape,

I would like to start by apologizing for any pain I may have caused you during the course of our marriage. It was never my intent to marry; I was quite content remaining a bachelor, and if I am being honest, did not find myself worthy of a marriage.

You may have seen my memories at this point, if so, they may paint some light as to my reasons for this. If you have not already seen them, or if you are unsure of how to view them, you must simply pour the memories from the vial into the pensive next to the desk. I do hope that viewing those memories do not change your opinion of me.

You accused me of not being able to stand you, of not liking you, and even once of hating you. This could not be further from the truth. I must admit, I was apprehensive of you when I first saw you. If you have, in fact, seen my memories by this point, you may have an understanding as to why.

I was quite annoyed when Albus first assigned you to me for extra tutoring. However, I quickly took a liking to you. I would like to take a moment to assure you that I held no romantic interests in you during the time you were my student. It was not until well after we were married that I began to regard you in such a manner.

I struggled rather childishly with the idea of our union; I thought myself much too old for you. I thought it too scandalous, too inappropriate. I took these emotions out on you, and for that I hold deep regret. You had far less say in the events that led up to our marriage than I did.

I asked you to take your own name in the event of my death, not for my own sake, but for yours. While it is true that I would rather the name end with me, I believe you will have a much easier time after my passing with the Black name as opposed to Snape.

Do not think for a single moment that I was ever embarrassed to be your husband. You have been the greatest thing to have ever graced my life. I would have gone to the ends of the world for you. You confided in me shortly before the end of your seventh year that you were afraid you were not good enough, or that you may fail. Do not ever be fearful of this, for you are one of the most capable and competent women I have ever met. You will succeed in anything that you do. You are kind, intelligent, beautiful, loyal, and courageous.