One Door Closes

Chapter 12

"Do you want kids?" I spare Emma the awkwardness of having to respond to my rant and look her in the eyes. She seems interested. She's genuinely listening to me and now, she's pondering my question.

"I don't know," she eventually responds. "I wouldn't know where to start. I've never had a good parental figure in my life. It's so easy to screw up a child, I wouldn't want to hurt it like that."

Honestly, I don't think Emma would ever hurt a child. The way she cares for people, the way she forgave me after I was an absolute ass, she is a good person. I think she would be a great mother.

"If you wanted to, I think you'd make a wonderful mother," I reply. Emma smiled at me and touches my hand gently. Then, I see her eyes avert to the wall behind me.

"Crap, I gotta go. Graham's waiting for me. Do you think you can finish this? I'll be back in ten minutes with him."

I smile and feel my heart pound louder when I give her a confirming nod. It's actually going to happen. We're going to break up with Graham.

Emma pulls me up and hugs me. "I'm really glad I have you, Regina. I wouldn't want to be doing this alone."

"That's exactly what I wanted to say." We hug for two solid minutes, neither of us ready to let go. Letting go means facing reality and I think both of us are dreading that moment. "It's going to be okay." I say it to reassure both of us and it makes Emma smile.

She leaves her apartment and suddenly, I'm alone.

I continue creating a romantic atmosphere. I close the curtains, put the candles in the best places and burn some incense. Graham needs to be surprised when he gets in. He needs to get enthused and eager about the rest of the night. Emma and I both know he loves big romantic gestures - for me it was one of the things that made me fall in love with him - and we want the breakup to hurt as much as possible. How better to do that than to crush his high expectations?

Emma had pre-cooked dinner and I turned on the stove to heat it up and spread the delicious smell. As I look around the room, I can confidently state that it looks romantic, that I know Graham is going to love this.

It makes me ache too, because aside from being a lying, cheating bastard, Graham really was, and still is, a great guy. He knows how to love, he knows how to be romantic and respectful. I've never met anyone that has managed to make me feel so at home as Graham did. He truly isn't a bad person.

I continue reminiscing about the time we spent together. I met him when I was twenty-three. I'm almost twenty-seven now and the past years he's been a big part of my life.

Our relationship seemed perfect because he spent a lot of time at my place, but we also knew how to be apart from one another. Even after all these weeks, I still haven't fully comprehended the fact that he spent all that time at Emma's place.

His one mistake was spending more time with me lately. Although it made me happier, it was the reason Emma thought she had to spice things up and led to our meeting.

Maybe everything would be better if we hadn't found out. Emma, Graham and I could all live our separate lives as two distinct relationships and Emma nor I would feel so betrayed.

But that isn't possible anymore. Graham has hurt us both too much for me to be able to forgive him anytime soon and when I hear his voice booming outside the apartment, I feel anger creeping up.

It'll really be a long time before I forgive him for this.

I feel ready. I'm ready to end all of this, to end this betrayal.

I slip inside the bathroom as I hear keys jiggling against the door. I have not rehearsed what I'm going to tell him. I just know that I need to appear confident.