One Door Closes

Chapter 14

We sit in silence on the chairs for a while. Sometimes Emma lets out a sob. "I'm going to abort it." She sounds decisive, as if her mind has been made up, but I can't believe it.

I push her off me. "Excuse me?"

"Regina, I can't raise this baby. I have absolutely no idea how to do something like that. Don't forget I have zero examples from when I was a kid."

I don't care. I suppose this is the one thing that still corrupts my brain from my religious family, but Emma getting rid of this child sounds horrible to me in every possible way.

It's her choice. I keep repeating that in my head, because after all it's about her and her child's life and if she honestly believes it's the best solution, it doesn't matter what I think.

But I do want to know for certain if this is what she really wants. If the only reason she doesn't want to have this baby is because she's scared, I think I can help her. I want to help her.

"Well, you know how it shouldn't be! That's very valuable too," I reply. Emma looks at me in silence. She shakes her head.

"Regina, don't you know how easy it is to ruin a child's life? How easy it is to mess them up? It's a huge responsibility and I am just not ready for it. I don't know if I ever will be."

I know she's right, but I really don't want her to go through with this. It's not as much about the abortion as it is about the fact that I would love for Emma to have a kid.

"Emma, know that it's your decision, of course. Whatever you eventually choose to do, I will support you," I say and Emma smiles, "but I think you'd make an amazing mother and I honestly mean that. You're caring, gentle and funny and that are great qualities for a mother to have. You wouldn't mess it up, I have no doubt about that. And I promise you that, if you'd want me to, I'll be there every step of the way."

She lets out a soft breath and moves her head back to my chest. "You've only known me for two months, Regina, one of which I completely ignored you. How could you possibly know you'll stick with me?"

Honestly, I had totally forgotten Emma and I haven't known each other very long. Everything feels so natural with her, as if we've been friends for ages. The mutual betrayal of Graham shaped our friendship and it worked fast.

"Because I missed you this last month and I don't want to spend another month without you." I cringe at the sincerity of my voice. It almost sounds like a love declaration, although it is anything but. "We had a great friendship, Emma. Really. I felt so comfortable around you and I could tell you anything. I've never grown so close to anyone in such a short time. I really want to be there for you."

It's silent for a moment. Emma nuzzles her nose against my neck and breathes out. I can feel the air tingle my skin. "Do you really think I'd be a good mother?"

"Yes."

"But I cut you off without very valid reasoning."

"It was valid. I would've gotten just as angry with you, if not more. We promised each other we wouldn't sleep with Graham, I broke that promise and you had to find out via Graham telling you during our breakup. It's been a tough time for all of us, so it's only natural to act this way."

I stroke Emma's hair and she hums. She holds me tight. It feels good to have her back. I'd imagined her return many times and every time I fantasized about screaming at her, being passive aggressive, making sure she knew just how much it hurt that she left me at a time like this.

But her pregnancy changes everything. This moment changes everything. She came to me for help, she still needs me and somehow it's made all my anger go away in one second. I truly understand her now.