Wild About You

Chapter Seventeen

Veronica

The only upside to eating out of a vending machine is there isn't much work involved. Money goes in and food comes out. The food in question is a bag of Cheetos and a bottle of Pepsi. I walk casually back to my room and lock the door behind me. I drove for what felt like hours and stopped in Cape May, New Jersey. I checked into the one motel that happened to be open out of season and didn't move. I've been here for four days. I do nothing but cry, sleep, and stare out the window. 

Travis. I want my Travis. I want this nightmare to be over. I want to be safe in his arms, snuggled deep under our blankets. What in the world did I do to deserve this? 

Oh yeah, Charlie. I want to scream and rage at the injustice of it all. I'm angry that he continues to take everything from me, that my entire life boils down to keeping myself one step ahead of him. I know I can't go on living like this but I don't know what else to do. 

Every night for the past few days I end up having dinner at this diner not far from the motel. Its quiet and the food is good. I'm usually one of three customers there. Cape May is a tourist destination and it's not as crowded during the winter. The hostess seats me at a corner booth and does not remark on me eating alone. I order an omelet and some decaf coffee. Two other women are seated behind me. Two best friends from the way they are talking and laughing together. I don't like to eavesdrop but it can hardly be helped.

"Carrie, I'll tell ya, God's honest truth, I was so scared when you called. If anything had happened to you..." the first woman says.

"I'm not gonna lie," Carrie answers, "I was terrified. Thank God Joseph was with me. I don't know what I would do without that man." 

"So they aren't going to charge him?" the first woman asks. Their conversation pauses as they order their dinner but continues as soon as the waitress leaves. 

"God, no!" Carrie says with a laugh. "Thomas got what was coming to him. Stupid fuck. How the hell do you slap someone else's wife and think the husband is not gonna do something about it?"

"I can't believe he just walked up and slapped you. He is out of his mind," the first woman snorts. 

"Thomas has always been a hot head, you know this. Get a couple of beers into him and he suddenly remembers every slight he has ever received, real or imagined. It's one of the reasons I divorced him in the first place," Carrie says with a chuckle. 

"I would have paid a thousand dollars to watch Joseph whoop his ass. It must have been a sight!" The women laugh quietly together. 

"Joe was magnificent. I think he had Thomas down in two hits. I would have blown him right there if the police hadn't shown up," Carrie adds. Their laughter is almost contagious. I have to cover my mouth to keep from giggling. 

"And that doesn't worry you?" the first woman asks. "What if Thomas doesn't leave you alone? I'd be worried sick that something would happen to Joe. Men don't forget shit like that, especially when they get humiliated." 

"I sleep next to Joe and Joe sleeps with a .45 in the nightstand. I'll always be alright if I'm with him. I'd follow that man into the dark if he asked." Carrie says with absolute certainty. 

I can feel tears clogging my throat as the pair gasp as their food is brought to them and the subject changes. 

I'd follow him into the dark. 

Except I didn't. Travis wanted to protect me and I rejected him. He would have followed me into the dark and I wouldn't let him. Perhaps because the thought of living without him was so unbelievably scary. But what was I doing now then?

Living without him. I left him behind because I couldn't imagine anyone wanting to jump into this chaos with me. But I know for a fact that I would have never left him for any other reason. Any of his chaos would have been my chaos. I would've faced it with him. 

The epiphany of my error in judgment nearly makes me vomit onto the table. I manage to pay the check and dart out the door. I take giant gulps of cold air as I walk back to my motel room. A plethora of questions swirling in my brain. 

Do I go back? What do I do about Charlie? What if Travis is done with me for good? What if the pain I caused is too much for him to forgive?

I lock the door behind me. I check my phone and there are no new calls. I didn't expect there to be but I'm secretly disappointed. And I have no right to be. The tears that have been building up all day start to flow. I'm so scared and confused and I don't know what to do. I miss Travis so much. Did I screw up the best thing that ever happened to me out of fear?

Yes Yes Yes, my brain replies.

I change into my pajamas and crawl into bed. For the last four nights, my routine has been to read through all of Travis' text messages. I read and re-read all his goofy flirty messages to me over the last few months. I stare at the pictures of him on my phone. I watch the TikTok videos he made with Cooper, doing funny dances while in their police uniforms. I replay every moment with him in my head. Every kiss, every hug, all of it. I remember how I felt a sense of calm whenever he was around. 

My phone suddenly rings and it startles me. I start to panic out of habit. It's my sister Bianca. I've been ignoring her calls for months. But I'm lonely and haven't had a conversation with anyone in days. I accept the call.

"Yes?" I say trying to keep my voice even. 

"Finally!" Bianca says with an edge to her voice. I roll my eyes. I haven't forgotten her and my family's stance on Charlie and his abuse. 

"Yes, what?" I answer matching her tone.

"I have been trying to get a hold of you for months. I have news you want to hear!" she says breathlessly. I sigh, knowing what Bianca's idea of news is. It usually involves some bit of gossip about someone we grew up with that she can't wait to delight in their misfortune. Ironically she believes anything anyone tells her except for me. 

"Go on," I say with a barely concealed sigh of contempt. 

"Charlie is dead," she nearly shouts. I sit up in bed, not quite comprehending what she is telling me.

"That can't be," I say in a stiff voice. Charlie is currently ruining my life, he can't be dead. 

"I swear to God it's true. Five months ago. He was representing this woman who allegedly killed her husband. Charlie got involved with her and when he didn't get her acquitted. She killed him too."

My head is spinning. 

"What?" I blurt out stupidly. 

"Yup. I've been emailing you the articles and everything. He got involved romantically with his client, thinking he could get her off and they could live happily ever after with her inherited fortune. But she got convicted. He went to see her for a prison visit and she shanked him in the neck," Bianca is telling me this story like she's on the six o'clock news. 

I quickly check my email and there is the link.

Defense Attorney Charles 'Charlie' More stabbed to death in prison visit.

I quickly scan the article to find the date. July 1st, months before the first note was dropped off at my door. As quickly as the relief hits me, another panic sets in.

Who the hell has been stalking me then? The letter was signed "C". If it wasn't Charlie then who...

Catt. 

Oh my God. 

"Bianca, I have to go," I say and hang up without further explanation. I gather up all my things and stuff them back into my backpack. I dash out to the front desk and tell them I'm checking out. I scribble on a receipt and head to my van. It's going to take me three hours to get back to Travis' apartment. 

I peel out of the apartment and don't look back.