Begin Again (Countryside Series 1)

PROLOGUE

Loud voices of two people arguing can be heard outside. I closed my eyes and covered my ears. I don't want to hear any of those words they're spitting. It will only break me, I know.

A lone tear escape from my left eye when I remembered what happened earlier. No. It wasn't true. But, is it? Is it really not true? When I can clearly heard them but I am just forcing myself not to?

I wanted to laugh because what's happening right now felt like a joke. We were just a normal happy family. No problems. Or maybe there is… however, not as worst as this.

No. This is a nightmare. A nightmare. I don't want this anymore. I want to wake up.

The two arguing people's voice outside became even louder. I wanted to stop them… but, I can't. Heavens, can you please, please make them stop. I can't take this anymore. I can't take the pain anymore. I can't take the continuous aching of my heart.

I never wanted this. I have a peaceful life. A happy one. I was contented with my life. I didn't complain whenever fate would not be on my side, but, what's happening right now… isn't it too much?

"Kasalanan mo ang lahat ng ito, pa!" I heard that shout again. Paulit-ulit na para bang inuukit sa utak ko ang bawat salitang binibitawan nila.

Mas lalo akong napaiyak. Ang mahal kong pamilya. Ang masaya kong pamilya. Paano kami nauwi sa ganito?

"Hindi ko kasalanan na hindi mo nagawang iligtas ang asawa mo!" balik na sigaw ng boses ng matanda, ang aking lolo. "Kasalanan mo at inuna mong iligtas 'yang anak mo! Kaya huwag mong isisisi sa akin—"

Malakas na tawa mula sa isang lalaki, my father, ang pumutol sa sasabihin pa sana ni lolo. "Kung hindi ka lang sana nagpagamit sa mga putanginang hayop na iyon hindi mangyayari ang lahat ng ito! At huwag mong ku-kuwestyonin ang ginawa kong pag-ligtas sa anak ko! Dahil paulit-ulit ko iyong gagawin kahit buhay ko pa ang kapalit!"

"Kaya ang asawa mo ang isinakripisyo mo—"

"At sa tingin mo masayang mabubuhay si Sylvia kapag nalaman niyang hinayaan ko ang anak namin?!"

"Nababaliw kana, Clarence! Hinayaan mo na lang sana na mamatay ang anak mong iyo—"

A loud bang was heard before my grandfather can even finish his words. I closed my eyes even tighter, feeling the aching of my heart even more. It felt like someone is gripping it.

My grandfather.

My grandfather who I treasure the most aside from my parents. I sobbed. How… how can he say those? When this pain will finally end?

I can't take this anymore. Slowly, I opened my eyes. Our family picture from my bed side table was the first thing I saw. I smiled painfully.

We looked so happy.

Yes, we were.

However, because of what happened, our happy family was now in chaos. I can no longer recognize my family.

Kanina inilibing si mama. Naramdaman ko na naman ang pag sidhi ng sakit sa dibdib ko. Ayoko nang balikan pa ang mga nangyari, sisisihin ko lang sarili ko. Tama si lolo, kung sana ay si mama na lang ang iniligtas ni papa.

Naalala ko na naman ang nangyari. Gustong-gusto ko na iyong kalimutan. Pero kahit anong gawin ko ay palaging pinapa-alala sa akin ang lahat.

Kahit ang pagtalikod niya sa akin.

I never thought that the person I treasure the most. The person I am so willing to fight for, can betray me like this.

Siya na lang ang inaasahan kong kakampihan at ipaglalaban ako. Kasi nangako siya, nangako siya na hindi niya ako iiwan… na palagi siyang nandyan para sa'kin.

Mas binilisan ko pa ang pagpapatakbo ng sasakyan. Umalis ako sa bahay ng walang nakaka-alam. Nung humupa ang sigawan nina lolo at papa ay ilang oras pa muna ang hinintay ko bago maka-alis, sinigurado munang tulog na sila.

I used my father's car, it was parked outside the house so it was easy for me to use. Hindi na ito naipasok ni papa sa gate dahil siguro sa sagutan nila ni lolo.

Dinaga ng kaba ang dibdib ko nang sinubukan kong pumreno ay hindi ito gumana. Shit! I looked around, madilim pa rin ang paligid at paunti-unti lang ang mga sasakyan na dumaraan.

Sinubukan kong kunin ang cellphone ko na nasa passenger seat… na sana ay hindi ko ginawa. I heard a loud beeped coming from a car… just a few meters away from me now. Nanlalaki ang mata ko. Mababangga ang sasakyan na ito. Dahil sa panic ay kinabig ko pakaliwa ang manebela

The next thing I knew the car submerged into the water. Sa lakas ng impact ng pagbagsak ng sasakyan sa tubig ay malakas na tumama ang ulo ko sa manibela. Nagdidilim na ang paningin ko at hindi na ako makahinga.

But, for a short moment heavens gave me time… to maybe reminisce. To remember everything.

I smiled sadly… mama, we will be together now. I am sorry I failed you… you told me to be with papa, to never leave him. But, I am tired, mama, I want to rest. I want to be with you… and maybe right now I can finally be with you.

All of my memories came crashing down. From the happy ones to the sad. From my firsts. From my achievements and failures. Maybe this is really it?

Sa kabila ng lahat ay nakita ko ang masaya niyang mukha. My love. You betrayed me yet I understand what you did. I still love you. You never know what I really feel towards you but I am hoping my actions shows you how much I love you… from the moment we first saw each other.

I will wait for you in the afterlife… if there is. Until then, my love.

For the last time, I smiled. That's when darkness consume me.