Between Clouds and Closure

Suspicions and Denials

"Rise and Shine!" I heard the chirpy voice of my sister as I heard her open the curtains from somewhere in the room.
My still sleepy eyes fluttered open against the harsh sunlight and I reluctantly dragged myself to a sitting position. My eyes flickered to the digital clock on the wall. The time read 12:28pm. Groaning, I couldn't believe I slept in so late. But to be fair, I had stayed up late even after I wished my sister a goodnight, texting Bryce. He'd tried to schedule for us to meet again today but I insisted on tomorrow, I had fun yesterday, but I didn't want him getting the wrong idea.

"Don't you have a husband to disturb?" I said, looking at my sister, my voice sounding groggy from sleep. Noticing that her smile faded a bit but I didn't comment on it. I'd only mentioned her husband because I assumed he would have been back by then.

"He uh, said he had to be there for longer," she said, eyes darting across the room, probably to avoid mine.
"Didn't you say the show ended yesterday and he'd be here this morning?" I asked.
"I did, but he said something came up. Anyways, wait till you hear what I have planned for us today." she said, with feigned excitement and I could tell she was deflecting but I didn't probe further. She smiled at me then and though the smile did not reach her eyes, I could tell, she was grateful I was not pressing her.
"I'd love to hear it, after I take a shower" I said, pushing the duvet aside as I got up.
She nodded and said she'd be downstairs.

A shower and fresh set of clothes later, I went downstairs and saw my sister seated at the dining table, furiously tapping on her phone screen. There were baskets of fruits, freshly squeezed juice, pancakes with maple syrup and a bowl of Mac and cheese spread across the table. I took a seat beside her and she flinched, clearly startled.

"I didn't hear you come down," she said, dropping her phone face down on the table.
"So, what's the plan?" I asked, helping myself to a healthy serving of Mac and cheese, pouring a glass of pineapple juice.
After brunch and listening to my sister lay out her plans for us, she'd changed her outfit, silently judged mine, then we headed out.

Our day mostly involved shopping, and while I wasn't necessarily a fan, I did it with a smile plastered on my face, because I could tell she needed the company. She'd been distracted, checking her phone repeatedly, then sighing in frustration when she didn't find whatever it was she was looking for.

She suggested that we eat dinner before going back home. We stopped at a fancy restaurant, placed our order and in less than thirty minutes of getting there, she motioned for me to excuse her when her phone had begun to ring. She stepped outside to take the call. When it had been five minutes and she wasn't back yet, I looked towards the glass window of the restaurant and could tell she was in a heated argument with whoever she was on the phone with.

She stepped back in shortly, her face flushed with anger. She motioned for the check. She'd barely eaten her food but I knew her appetite was gone. I waited till we were outside before asking, "Wanna talk about it?". She looked to me but didn't say anything in response, before she walked towards the black Sedan idling in front of the restaurant parking lot, her driver waiting for us to get in.

Once seated, she waited a beat before she opened her mouth like she was going to say something, closed it then shook her head and said, "Not here," gesturing to her driver seated in the driver seat.

When we had gotten home, she'd strolled to one of her cabinets, brought out a bottle of vintage wine, picked up two glasses and came to join me on the couch.
She'd explained that her husband had been acting suspicious recently. Going on trips, then extending them at the last minute, sneaking off to take and make phone calls, starting unnecessary arguments. I'd felt bad that she'd felt like she couldn't confide in me, but she'd explained that she didn't want to pile on what I was already dealing with. She didn't accuse him of anything, but she was definitely disturbed by his behavior. I'd told her that I knew he loved her and she had nothing to worry about. But we both knew that love was never always enough.

We'd talked about our childhood memories, our parents and their own marriage. My sister still managed to keep in touch with our dad but I couldn't bring myself to. In a way, he'd betrayed me too. He was my hero, the first man I loved and respected. He taught me all I knew about cars and he was the most supportive about my dreams. He taught me that being from a wealthy home didn't mean I had to be a spoiled brat. But I'd walked in one day after school, Rosa had started college then and saw my mum sobbing uncontrollably on the couch. I found the absence of any staff weird, the house quiet. When she saw me, she'd tried to pass off her tears as her being her usual emotional self but her red rimmed eyes and puffy nose had indicated she had been crying a long while.

It took her a couple of days before she confided in me and told my dad had been cheating, I didn't believe her. My dad, who still kissed her forehead every time they hugged and held her hand whenever they were in public, my dad who still acted all lovey with her and looked at her like she'd hung the sky, that it drove me nauseous sometimes, couldn't be a cheat.

Whatever I'd wanted to say, to defend him with had died in my throat when she clung to me, fresh tears brimming from her eyes, I didn't know how to handle her, my sister was much better at consolations. I just sat there as she held onto me like I was her life raft. It wasn't until one of his sexcapades had almost become a national scandal (being a popular business conglomerate and all) and had to be covered up, did I fully believe it and that day, I'd cried myself to sleep, my heart breaking in my chest. For myself, for my mum and for the perfect image I'd had of him.

He'd apologized to my mom and promised to never do it again, but he had, for years. It was the sole motivation behind my want to start traveling the world, to get away from him and from my mom pretending everything was okay. I couldn't forgive him and I wondered how she could, especially when he was repeatedly making a fool of her.

My interaction with him ever since had become barely existent, even more so when he voiced his displeasure in colorful words about my getting a divorce. He'd told me to stay just like my mom had and give Adam a second chance because he had changed and Adam probably would too. My dad had cheated with different women a time while Adam had had an affair, not like it made any difference, a cheat is a cheat. Too bad I couldn't care less what he thought.

My conversation with Rosa lasted a while that night, cautiously avoiding the elephant that may or may not be in the room and she fell asleep to me stroking her hair as she lay curled on the couch, her head in my lap.